Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 34

???: Ballad... I see you have returned to your old ways. Is attempted destruction of the timeline not enough for you?

Caius Ballad: You have no need to fear me, Monitor. I have made a warrior's oath to return to my duties as guardian of time. In fact, I am here for the same reason you are; to uncover the key to The Great Disaster.

???: ...Very well. I have already witnessed The Wall's answer, and it is meaningless to me. Perhaps you might shed a bit more light on the answer's meaning.

Paddra Nsu-Yeul: The wall... it speaks!

*A series of letters written in 100-foot tall flames appear in front of the Source Wall*

Caius: Let me see; P...H...E...L... oh you've got to be kidding me.

Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 33

Alfred Smith: (Great work, Electra! We made it into the citadel without being spotted!) *STOP*

Electra Pendragon: (Was there ever any doubt?)

Lant Kreck: (Yes. But that's not important right now)

Alfred: (Correct. Now that we're inside, we need to work in the shadows to find a way to stop the Prophet Gilesbie's plan from succeeding. You have your watches synchronized?)

Electra: (Yep.)

Lant: (Affirmative.)

Alfred: (Good. Operation "Balamb Garden" is now-)

Dirk: Yo.

Alfred: EEK! *leaps into Electra's arms, whereupon she just drops him* Oh, wait. Dirk, Jade, it's you! How did you get here? Where's Troll Phelous?

Dirk: Long story, I'll explain later.

Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 32

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======At the JEMToSR3K boardroom ======

Edrobot: What?! What do you mean you're not going to kill off Troll Phelous Something Something D1?!

The Devil: IT'S LIKE THE KIDS SAID. NOBODY CARES ABOUT HIM, SO HIS DEATH WOULD BE COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS.

Edrobot: Nooo! How else am I going to show that the stakes are now higher than ever?!

The Devil: YOU COULD ALWAYS HAVE ME KILL AN ACTUALLY POPULAR CHARACTER.

Edrobot: I guess I could do that and bring him back as a cyborg in the next season...

The Devil: YEAH ABOUT THAT. MY CONTRACT SAYS THAT IF I GET TO KILL SOMEONE, THAT PERSON HAS TO STAY DEAD FOREVER.

Edrobot: Oh. Well what about-

The Devil: NO YOU CAN'T INTRODUCE A CLONE.

Edrobot: Then how about-

The Devil: NO TWIN SIBLINGS.

Edrobot:  But what if we-

The Devil: OR CHANGELING DOPPELGANGERS.

Edrobot: Well fuck.

The Devil: SO, WHAT'S IT GONNA BE THEN, BOSS?

Edrobot: *sigh* all right, here's what you're going to do.

Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 31

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Jake: Well chaps, it looks like smooth sailing from here!

*and then The Devil from dinosaur comics appeared in front of them somehow*

Jake: Oh poppycock.

The Devil: OH HEY GUYS. YOU'RE REVIEWING HELLSTORM EVANGELION TODAY?

Dave: well we are now.

The Devil: GREAT! DID YOU KNOW I WAS CONSULTED FOR THIS FIC, AND I GAVE THE AUTHOR A LOT OF ADVICE ABOUT MY CHARACTER.

Karkat: THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.

The Devil: YEP. OH YEAH, AND I NEED TO KILL OFF A RECURRING CHARACTER TODAY. THE EXECUTIVES THINK IT'LL BOOST OUR SHOW'S RAITINGS.

Karkat: EXECUTIVES? WHAT EXECUTIVES?

=====MEANWHILE=====

*Edrobot is sitting in an empy room, wearing a suit and talking to a Tonberry plush.*

Edrobot: Okay guys, our company's reputation is down the tubes. What do we do?

*listens to Tonberry plush.*

Edrobot: What? Always-on DRM and Microtransations? Brilliant idea, Berthold! You always come up with the best ideas!

=================

Karkat: NEVERMIND.

Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 30

Grunt #3087: Kill the demons! Kill the- *gets shot to death a bajillion times*

Gaz: Looks like last of em. 

Lux Lexor: Finally... my pxditries are just killing me...

Sho Minamimoto = √( Looks can be deceving. You never know when there's a hidden factor involved.)

Gaz: Yep. Trixie, you and math boy scout on ahead while I look for a power source. Idiot, you into that abandoned building over there and search for supplied.

Lux: Questixn: Why are yxu calling me an idixt?

The Great and Powerful Trixe: Because you are one. 

Lux: Fair enxugh. 

Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 29

Meulin: \(=^..^)/

Rose: That's right, Meulin. It's about time we get a character focus episode. 

Roxy: i know right? i just hope the producer hasn't run good ideas yet.

Sollux: oh come on what are the odd2 of that?

Wolf O'Donnel: Yo yo yo, Wolfie D and Daddy B are in da HOUSE!

Big Daddy: ...

Sollux: never miind.

Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 28

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