Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 5

Episode 5

Homestuck High Part 4
Previous | Next

Jake: I find that one of the most important skills an author must learn is how to handle his fanbase. On one hand you can't be too active, because then you won't have time to do any more writing. But on the other hand you can't ignore your fans, because then you have no idea how to improve your work. While FanFiction.Net allows instant feedback between authors and readers, many authors prefer answer readers' questions within the chapters themselves, so that nobody misses them. Let's see how this author does handles her fanbase:


to the people asking if im a troll no i am not i wuld rly like 2 bee one tho since the homestuck ones are cool!

Jake: Very clever, the author here is making light of slanderous comments against her work by feigning ignorance of the multiple definitions of the word "Troll".

Karkat: HAS IT EVER OCCURED TO YOU THAT MAYBE THE AUTHOR REALLY IS THAT IGNORANT?

Jake: Pish-posh! This author's work is far too refined for her to be an ignoramus!

Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 4

Warning: This episode is NSFW. While I will do my best to keep my jokes tasteful, the actual fic contains references to rape, gore, cannibalism, and extreme violence. If any of this offends you, please do not read further.

It goes without saying that I do not support any of these practices, and personally think the person responsible for writing this fic REALLY needs to see a psychiatrist even if he was just joking. Those thoughts ain't normal, man.

Episode 4

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Karkat Vantas: ...WE HAVEN'T EVEN BEGUN THE STORY AND I'M ALREADY LOST. WHAT THE HELL AM I LOOKING AT?

Jake English: This my dear boy, is HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. It is a contemporary neo-suburban countercultural surrealist work emulating the dadaist movement of the early to mid 20th century by using the harry potter franchise as a vhehical for wanton violence and debauchery.

Karkat: IN ENGLISH PLEASE.

Dave Srider: he means its a shitty story thats somehow art i guess. have you read harry potter?

Karkat: HELL NO.

Dave: good because it pretty much has nothing to do with the books. its kind of like my immortal from one of those bizzario worlds where all the dudes are chicks and vice versa so that instead of hot topic and linken park the author is obsessed with groinsaws and rape puns. its supposed to be dumb immature and oh so hilarious.

Jake: Not to mention that it's an excellent satire that exaggerates the trend of increasing levels of violence in the media to it's logical conclusion!

Dave: yeah that too.

Karkat: AND YOU THINK I'LL LIKE THIS.

Jake: Indubitably! In fact, i wouldn't be surprised if this story was written by a kindred spirit!

Karkat: ...I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.

The Hero's Journey, and Plan 9 From Outer Space

In my recent MST, I made a joke that Plan 9 From Outer Space made use of The Hero's Journey, a narrative structure that is talked about in greater detail in the Wikipedia article I just linked to. But I wasn't joking when I said that; whether by accident or by design (probably the former, given that Plan 9 isn't a movie you can plan so much as it just let happen) Ed Wood ended up incorporating the The Hero's Journey into his story. A butchered, nearly unrecognizable form of the journey, but a form nonetheless. Why this is, I can't say for certain, but my guess is that Ed Wood's subconscious contains the same kinds of archetypical stories that our myths and legends are been made out of. He's just REALLY bad at articulating them.


I admit, given the gimmick of my MST series, doing something like this is kind of hypocritical. But hey, it's all in good fun! I know Plan 9 From Outer Space is a bad movie, but it's such a hilariously bad movie that one can't help but laugh at it. If you haven't seen it yet, you can see it at Archive.org. If you don't know what The Hero's Journey is, Extra Credits did a really good series on it, which you can find here and here.

Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 3

Episode 3

Homestuck High Part 3

Previous | Next

Quick word of warning: This episode is NSFW. And really really stupid, but you kinda knew that already.

Jake English: Well vantas, i think you’ll be happy to hear that this chapter signals an end to the slice-of-life drama that made up the story’s first act.


Dave Strider: yeah. this is where things go from stupid to batshit insane.


Karkat Vantas: I’VE ALREADY BEEN TURNED INTO TAVROS. AT THIS POINT I’VE LEARNED TO STOP SETTING EXPECTATIONS BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW STUPID THINGS THE IDIOT WRITING THIS THING IS JUST GOING TO FIND A WAY TO TOP HIMSELF. 


Dave: thats probably a good idea.

Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 2

Episode 2

Homestuck High Part 2

Previous | Next

Karkat Vantas: -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Dave Strider: dude. you seriously need to calm down.

Jake English: I quite agree. While your voluminous lungh capacity is quite impressive, your reaction is way out of line.

Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000

I feel like doing something a little out of the ordinary today, so I decided to write something where I pretend that fictional characters are making fun of bad fanfiction.

Allow me to present...

Episode 1 

Homestuck High Part 1

Previous | Next

JAKE ENGLISH: Good evening chaps! *smokes a bubble pipe* I consider myself quite the connoisseur when it comes to motion pictures. But one of the few things i enjoy more than a rousing weekend at bernies is a good romp down the worldwide interweb in search of new works of fan fiction. Unfortunately not everyone shares these opinions. Most in fact would refer to such works as "cheapside drivel" "a disgrace to penny dreadfuls" or even "unpublishable bullshit". To a regular reader of fan published work this is quite bamboozing as the stuff i have read has been nothing but top quality entertainment! Since i hate to see one of my hobbies unjustly slandered i have made it my duty to enlighten the uninformed public about the wonders of fan fiction! And what else should we start with but my favorite work in the whole goddamn world? "homestuck high" (as the folks call it) is a ripsnorting tale seeped in the supernatural, and based on the world famous internet graphic novel known as Homestuck (which i might add i am a character in). Now without further ado let us dive into this literary masterpiece and 

KARKAT VANTAS: OH HELL NO! HELL! FUCKING! NO!

JAKE: Oh, Vantas. *rolls eyes* Are you here to pester me with another one of your cockamamie rantings? Perhaps to persuade me that this story is a pile of rubbish?

KARKAT: HOW CAN YOU THINK OF THAT MISRIBLE PILE OF LAMINATED THINKPAN EXCREMENT AS ANYTHING BUT AN ABOMINATION OF THE WRITTEN WORD?

JAKE: Tut tut, don't be so dismissive. It's like that old saying "you cant' judge a book by it's cover" except the other way around.

KARKAT: YEAH. YOU TOTALLY SOLD ME RIGHT THERE WITH THAT WITTY RHETORIC OF YOURS.