Big Daddy: *STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* Wolf O'Donnel: Okay, Daddy B. I think this asshole has had enough stomping. Big Daddy: ... Wolf O'Donnel: Yeah, you said it. That guy was one hell of a loser! Come on, let's get milkshakes and kickflips off the half-pipe! Big Daddy: ... *Wolf and Big Daddy Leave* Halloweenie: Hmmm? What is THIS? Oh boy, an DEAD BODY! Now I can use the NECRONOMICON EX MORTIS, and start my own zombie army to get revenge on Jake England and those other guys for putting me in such HUMILIATING cameoes! *Troll Phelous D1 Comes back to Life* Troll Phelous D1: Did you say Jake English? Halloweenie: WAAH! I thought you were dead! Troll Phelous D1: I was, but I got better... because reasons. Now, here's what we're going to do...
Terezi: NOW TH4T MS P41NT H4S B33N 4V3NG3D W3 C4N G3T B4CK TO M4TT3R 4T H4ND: F1GUR1NG OUT TH3 TRU3 1D3NT1TY OF MON4RCH Vriska: Oh come on, It's O8VIOUSLY Cronus. I mean he's not 8eing all that su8tle a8out it. Monarch: Mwva ha-ha! Mwva ha-ha ha-ha! Nowv that I have my hyper death ray, I will send a message to the wvorld by destroying this Starbucks franchise wvhich by a complete coincidence Cronus Ampora (wvo is not me by the way) receivwed an justified lifetime ban from last week! Terezi: DO3SNT M4TT3R. W3 ST1LL N33D TO DO TH1NGS BY TH3 BOOK Vriska: Doesn't Alternian law in this sort of situation dictate hunting down the perpetrator and 8eating them to death with a rusty mallet? Terezi: W3 ST1LL N33D 4 W4RR4NT. NO G3TT1NG 4ROUND TH4T. Vriska: Fiiiiiiiine. We'll do it your way this time. Terezi: L3TS ST4RT W1TH TH3 F4CTS. N3P3T4, WH4T 1S TH3 SUSP3CTS CR1M1N4L R3CORD? Nepeta Leijoin: :33 < *shuffles papurrs* it says here that he has at least a dozen civil suits pending on sexual harassment acquired during his day job as a factory foreman. prior to his disappearance, he swore that he would, and i quote, "make every last one of you heartless bitches pay". Vriska: Sounds like we have a motive. How about means? Terezi: WH4T K1ND OF F4CTORY W4S H3 TH3 FOR3M4N OF? Nepeta: :33 < a time machine factory! Terezi: 1 GU3SS TH4T WR4PS UP TH3 C4S3 TH3N. Nepeta: :33 < now was that really so hard? Vriska: Eh. I guess not. Terezi: ONLY PROBL3M 1S TH4T 1F W3 GO 4ND K1LL H1M NOW W3LL C4US3 T1M3 P4R4DOX TH4T W1LL 1N 4 B3ST C4S3 SC3N4R1O R3SULT 1N 4 DOOM3D T1M3L1N3 Vriska: Buuuuuuuuut on the plus side, that means we get to requisition as much as we want to take down his future self. And running someone over with a laser death dank is alway a good laugh. 88888888) Nepeta: I call shotgun!
LAST TIME, ON JAKE ENGLISH'S MYSTERIOUS THEATER OF SCIENTIFIC ROMANCE FROM THE YEAR 3000.
Edrobot: Okay so you see this guy named Caius Ballad tried to destroy the timeline and Jake Karkat and Dave tried to stop him but failed but then we learned Caius he was really being mind manipulated by a fictionalized version of Tara Gilesbie, the writer of My Immortal, so everyone went to another dimension and wandered around like a bunch of idiots until they all somehow ended up in the same place and fought her and won. Then it turns out this girl named Electra Pendragon had gone back in time to stop The Great Disaster which The Monitors were worried about (oh and The Monitors are these guys who are supposed to be protecting the universe all of whom were spawned from the first Monitor from Crisis on Infinite Earths when Superboy Prime punched the continuity in Infinite Crisis, but I didn't explain that because it's not important and Grant Morrison retconned it anyway). Now you see there's these two Monitors named Bob and Solomon who are both trying to save the Multiverse, but Solomon is evil and wants to kill everyone who knows about the multiverse while Bob thinks he can save the multiverse by finding Phelous (who's this internet reviewer that I like) because the Source Wall said so. Meanwhile this time-traveling supervillain named Monarch who is totally not Cronus Ampora even though he talks just like him, and the only way to stop him is for Jake English to receive the power of Puma Man from the Secret Wizard, which he also gave to Caliborn for some reason and the Condesce gave some of that corrupted power to Jane Crocker to turn her evil as well. Oh and Caliborn is dead now because he killed Miss Paint and was gunned down by the Suicide Squad, Lant Kreck is now a Green Lantern, Rose Kanaya Roxy and Porrim are stuck on Apokolips, the devil now works for Darkseid, and I can't keep a consistent update schedule to save my life. Also Caius Ballad is a good guy now and he's trying to save the multiverse as well but it's slow going because the Monitors can't agree on anything as illustrated by the running gag from Linkara's "Countdown to Final Crisis" review.
Edrobot: You said it, protagonist from Garzy's Wing.
I have no idea who made this image. In fact I don't think anyone does.
