===2500 BC===
Gilgamesh: Well, it took me a whole week, but I finally achieved my dream of to building a life-sized statue of myself entirely out of toothpicks and playing cards. And several thousand years before either of those things were invented! Servants! *clap clap*
Random Servant #1: Yes, my lord?
Gilgamesh: I need one of you to invent ice cream so that I may have it with dinner tonight, so that I may celebrate my glorious achievements, and have the other servants get to work on inventing glue to hold the statue together. Untill then I don't want anyone coming within a thousand cubits of it, do you understand?
Random Servant #1: Yes, your highness, I will protect it with my very life!
*Tardis Noises. Time machine lands on statue of Gilgamesh.*
Karkat Vantas: YOU CALL THAT A LANDING?!
Jake English: Sorry, it seems that the old girl pulls a bit to the left.
