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| "Future events, such as these, will effect you in the future." -Nostradamus |
===== Last time, on "A Game of Thrones" =====
Edrobot: Last time, on "A Game of Thrones".
Caliborn: YES, I HAVE WON THE GAME OF THRONES!
Gamzee: No, JoHn. YoU ArE ThE MoThErFuCkInG GaMe oF ThRoNeS.
Caliborn: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
===== Meanwhile, at the Bad Idea Factory =====
Tavros Nitram: sO, uHH, wHERE ARE WE EXACTLY,
Kanaya Maryam: Given What The Trasition Text Says I Would Assume We Are In A Place Called The Bad Idea Factory
John: i guess that would explain all the machinery. but what are they making?
Kankri: It appears t9 6e un9ffical ficti9n 9f vaguely equine cart99n characters that are, f9r increasingly flimsy reas9ns (trigger warning f9r er9t9ph96es) perf9rming h9m9er9tic sex acts.
John: what?
Kanaya: He Says This Entire Factory Was Built To Do Nothing But Print My Little Pony Slash Fic
Tavros: tHAT'S KINDA DISTRUBING
Tavros: tHAT'S KINDA DISTRUBING
John: i agree. but where is it all coming from?
Equius: D --> And then rainbow dash said "I really like your mane, Fluttershy" and then Rainbow Dash got into Fluttershy's bed and then they-
Kanaya: Equius What Are You Doing Here
Equius: D --> Oh, Kanaya, Tavros, Eggbert and Kankri. How grand of you lowb100ds to visit my new abode
Tavros: yOU MOVED HERE WILLINGLY,
Equius: D --> Well technically I was kidnapped, but I am far too STRONG to be begging for mercy
Kanaya: And You Never Tried To Escape
Equius: I did at first But after hours of searching and STRONGarming many of the guards, I discovered that there was no way out
???: Indeed! Zhe alien speaks zhe truth!
John: oh dear god there's a nazi running this place.
Nazi Roxas: Zat is correct, herr Egbet. Und I, Nazi Roxas, of Orgy XIII, can assure you zhat escape from zhe bad idea factory is impossible!
Kankri: This cart99nish depicti9n 9f the third reich is n9t 9nly demeaning t9 the german pe9ple themselves (as it perpetuates the idea that all pe6ple with germanic accents are nazis 6r have nazi-like tendences), 6ut is als9 an insult t9 h9l9c9st surviv9rs and their families.
Nazi Roxas: Ha! Nazi Science laughs at your political correctness! You vill verk in zhe bad idea factory, cranking out terrible slash fic for all time, and you vill be likeink it!
Kanaya: Or Else What
Nazi Roxas: Vell... I don't know, actually. I guess I'll just be whackink you around vith zis trunchelon or somethink. FOR ALL ETERNITY!
John: oh boy. how are we gonna get out of this one?
Tavros: mAYBE WE SHOULD READ A BADFIC, tHAT ALWAYS SEEMS TO HELP,
John: in that case I have just the thing!
Kankri: 6urst9n's S9rr9w 2...?
Kanaya: Oh For The Love Of... I Cannot Believe It Actually Has The Subtitle "Electric Boogaloo"
John: i know, right? it's a weird fan sequel where burston goes back in time to confront his father and save the future or something.
Kanaya: I Am Not Looking Forward Do This
Burston glanced discontent. He may have won the tournamnet, but there was still things that needded to take care of. Allex Loorpez (suicide silence's drummer)
John: oh boy. how are we gonna get out of this one?
Tavros: mAYBE WE SHOULD READ A BADFIC, tHAT ALWAYS SEEMS TO HELP,
John: in that case I have just the thing!
Kankri: 6urst9n's S9rr9w 2...?
Kanaya: Oh For The Love Of... I Cannot Believe It Actually Has The Subtitle "Electric Boogaloo"
John: i know, right? it's a weird fan sequel where burston goes back in time to confront his father and save the future or something.
Kanaya: I Am Not Looking Forward Do This
Burston glanced discontent. He may have won the tournamnet, but there was still things that needded to take care of. Allex Loorpez (suicide silence's drummer)
Kankri: I find it appaling that the 9nly inf9rmati9n I can find 9f mister Alex L9pez is (racial trigger warning) that he is Mexican. 6ecause of this, I declair that Alex L9pez is a "j9ke free-target", as there is s9 little inf9rmati9n publicl avali6le that any attempt t9 crack a j9ke w9uld dev9lve int9 racist caricature. And h9ld 9n, my ph9ne is ringing... Hell9?
Caliborn: ALOHA SEINOR, ME LLAMO ALEX LOORPEZ AND YO IN UN BANDO "SUCIDIO SILENCIO". YO LAYWERO DEMANDO ELEVEN BILLION PESOS EN ROYALTIESTAS OR WE EXPLODAR TU FACE.
Kankri: I'm s9rry, sir. I'm having tr9u6le understanding what y9u're trying t9 say.
Caliborn: LOS MONIDAS MuSTO BE EN CONSECUTIVO UNMARKED BILLSO OR MUY MUY ANGRY KILL TU SANPAI.
Kankri: I still d9n't understand what y9u're trying t9 say. In fact I'm pretty sure s9me 9f that wasn't even spanish.
Caliborn: ...YOU'RE NO FuN ANYMORE. *CLICK*
Kankri: Must have 6een a wrong number.
asked, 'Why the lnog face?'
John: yes, l-nog, the drink of champions; cheaper than a mocha angry and only half the calories!
Burston cracked his kuckles. He said 'It's time to finnish what my dad strted, motherfoockers.'
Tavros: uHH, ARE YOU SO YOU'RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF, BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY THING I REMEMBER YOUR DAD STARTING.
Burstno and suicide silence scoped up their Pokemon and put them in there balls.
Kanaya: Their Pokeballs That Is. Keep Your Mind Out Of The Gutter.
they would have to travull very long disstance – over 200 (two hundred) miles for reach the only ones who could hlep them.
John: okay i know this new author is trying to emulate the style of the old one, but this just baffles me. why does the author need to write the number twice? it's not all that funny and if anything it just shows that this author is really really uncreative.
They drove on a monstar truck, except for Bruston, who flew on his awresome palkia.
John: don't save room for me, boys. i'm taking *SUNGLASSES* the high road.
They fle for manny days and knights,
Equius: D --> I dub thee, sir no-spellcheck
but they fund a hot topic alung the way.
Kanaya: Of Course They Do.
They liked shipping at the hot topic but they had to contiune there jorniy.
John: alex x burston is my otp.
After trvelling for 7 (seven) weeks,
Tavros: wHICH IF WE ASSUME THAT THEY ONLY TRAVELED 200 MILES MEANS THAT ON AVERAGE THEY WERE GOING ABOUT, uHHHHHHH, ONE FIFTH OF A MILE PER HOUR,
John: either that or they spent a realllllllly long time at hot topic.
they found land of the navis.
Tavros: oF COURSE IF THEY WERE TRAVELING THE, uHH, 4,37 LIGHT YEARS THEY'D NEED TO REACH ALPHA CENTAURI (WHERE, uHH I THINK AVATAR TAKES PLACE) THEY'D NEED TO BE TRAVELING FASTER THAN LIGHT TO MAKE IT IN TIME,
'I have to revive my dialga," said Thurston the navi king
'I have to revive my dialga," said Thurston the navi king
Kankri: Which, if y9u remember, 6urston killed in the last installment.
John: so is Thurst- I mean Burston king of the Navi now?
Kankri: Given the parallels between Avatar and similar "white man g9es native" st9ries (such as "dances with w9lves) I wouldn't 6e surprised.
said, 'don ot worry, we will help you with our might powers!' And Burston was led in a big big rom with the five power rangers in a cirecl.
Tavros: uHH, WHICH POWER RANGERS EXACTLY, aND WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE, aRE THEY HUMAN SACRIFICES OR SOMETHING?
Kanaya: Something Tells Me This Is the Wrong Story To Ask Those Kinds Of Questions
"But the riteual will require a dorp of your bloood,' saaid the nazi king.
Nazi Roxas: Of course! Don't you know anythink about magic?
Burston pulled out his knif and figered it with a prick. Shit that hurt he said,
as a droptel of his blood landed in the circle. The navis spun around really fuckin fast as a whit light blew in the circle. It shaped into dialga, and all the pokemon said SKREEEEEEEEEE.
"Thank you noble navies, but now i must go and wright my fathe's wrongs." And with that Burston hooped onto dialga and punched it really hard. He punched itt so hard thut it was knocked back in tiem.
"Thank you noble navies, but now i must go and wright my fathe's wrongs." And with that Burston hooped onto dialga and punched it really hard. He punched itt so hard thut it was knocked back in tiem.
John: okay dialga is a time-traveling pokemon... but couldn't you have just asked it politely? it is your mon, after all.
He arrrived in front of the frist bank, just as Goofy was about to molest it!
Kanaya: Which I Still Fail To Grasp The Mechanics Of How One Can Actually Do That
He had to sotp him!
NO DAD NO yelled Busrton but his dad didnt here him. There was aa darkshadow, and that damn detective appered from the roofpot!
NO DAD NO yelled Busrton but his dad didnt here him. There was aa darkshadow, and that damn detective appered from the roofpot!
John: he was probably using the illegal rooftop pot garden to get as high as the person who wrote this story.
'Wait, no! Let me stop him! said Burston but the detective pulled out his sword.
Tavros: i DON'T THINK SWORDS ARE STANDARD ISSUE FOR THE NYPD, oR ANY POLICE DEPARTMENT FOR THAT MATTER,
"I cannot let you do that, for I need to catch him myslef.' Burston found a katana stacking out of the window and garbed it. "Let's do this" he said.
John: because as we all know people leave swords on their windowsill all the time just in case this sort of thing happens.
They had a really fuckin big fight, as there pokemon battled.
John: because as we all know people leave swords on their windowsill all the time just in case this sort of thing happens.
They had a really fuckin big fight, as there pokemon battled.
Kanaya: So Why Did You Need Swords Again If You Were Using Pokemon?
The decective had a piplup, groodon, mewtwo, balbaseer, dunsprace, and mothra.
John: mothra is a kaiju the size of a skyscraper. i know pokemon can get pretty big but that's just silly. also,
The pokemon dulled as the detective and Burstno crashed their wepons. But it was two late! The detective was just tryeing to distract hm!
Tavros: wAIT, sO WERE THEY WERE WORKING TOGETHER, iF SO WHY WAS GOOFY WORRYING ABOUT THE DETECTIVE IN THE FIRST STORY, aND IF NOT WHY DIDN'T HE ARREST GOOFY BACK THEN, oH GOG NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE,
He coulddnt stop Goofy, and Goofy yelled IT'S GOOFY TIME!
Kanaya: Oh Ha Ha A Reference To An Old Meme How Very Original
Burston yelled "NOOOOOOOOOOOO DAD NO! YOU FUCKING RUINED ITTTTTTTTT !"
Kanaya: Oh Ha Ha A Reference To An Old Meme How Very Original
Burston yelled "NOOOOOOOOOOOO DAD NO! YOU FUCKING RUINED ITTTTTTTTT !"
Tavros: wAIT, CANT YOU JUST GO BACK IN TIME AGAIN, i DON'T THINK IT SAID ANYTHING ABOUT DIALGA DYING THIS TIME.
He cried as Goofy stole the bank's innosense.
DETECTIVE
DETECTIVE
John: and that was Burston's Sorrow 2, in all of it's nonsensical glory. What did you think?
Kankri: I d9n't think this is really w9th f9rming any kind of 9pini9n 9ver. It's just t99 inc9herent t9 really 6e saying anything.
Tavros: uHH, wELL AT LEAST IT MADE MORE SENSE THAN THE LAST STORY, i MEAN IT MADE NO SENSE AND IT OPENED UP A BUNCH OF PLOT HOLES, bUT, uHH, AT LEAST THERE WAS SOMETHING YOU COULD CALL A "PLOT" THIS TIME AROUND,
John: well I dunno, I think the plot actually hurts the story. to me at least, the reason the first one was so good was that it was so utterly insane and incoherent, but this story is just trying to ape the original author's style without bringing anything new to the table. i mean it's still worth a chuckle, but it just doesn't have the same heart as the last one.
Kanaya: No Comment
Nazi Roxas: Ach! Mein heart! You did you know zhat I vas deathly allergik to zhe Burston's Sorrow?
John: lucky guess?
Nazi Roxas: Fools! Zhis is only zhe beginning! As long as there is darkness within zhe hearts of man, the Third Reich will live forever! *DEAD*
Equius: D --> Yes, but without darkness there is no light And without light there there is no sun And with sun there are no plants And with no plants there are no virgin pastures And with no virgin pastures there are no hoofbeasts And with no hoofbeasts there are no-
Tavros: uHH, hE'S HE CAN'T HEAR YOU EQUIUS, i THINK HE'S ALREADY DEAD,
Equius: D --> Oh Sorry about that
Kanaya: We Should Get Going. Given How Cliche That Guy Was Im Going To Assume He Has The Factory Rigged to Self Destruct The Moment He Kicks The bucket
John: oh come on, what are the odds of that?
Computer: SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED; T-MINUS FIVE MINUTES.
Kanaya: I Would Say About One In One
John: damn it.
DETECTIVE
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