Episode 16
Hart Shaped Love
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of dog, it's too dark to read."
- Socrates
Kotomine Kirei: So, Karka†, will you star† the fif†h Holy Grail War?
Karkat Vantas: NO. THE LAST THING WE NEED IS ANOTHER STUPID STORY ARC BASED ON A STUPID TV SHOW.
Edrobot: What?! Noooo, a Fate/Stay Night story arc would have been awesome! You were going to have Don Quioxtie as your Servant, and between fanfics you'd go around and make witty remarks about stuff!
Dave Strider: dont we do that anyway??
Edrobot: Well yes, but...
Jake English: Plus you're already stretching our audience's patience by making caius ballad our main villain. If they don't know who he is, they certainly wont know about kotomine.
Kotomine: He's got a poin†.
Edrobot: Okay fine... sorry about the false alarm, Kirei. If it's any consolation, I heard there's a Evangelion/Madoka Magica crossover down the hall that's looking for a third wheel, if you're interested.
Kotomine: †hanks, I'll look into that. Bu† jus† remember, if you ever need anyone murdered...
Edrobot: Uh, yeah. I'll keep you in mind. So long!
Kotomine: Farewell, Ed. And good luck on your project; I'm forward to seeing it crash and burn.
Dave: what a nice sociopathic murderer.
Karkat: SO BACK ON TRACK; NOW WHAT DO WE DO?
Jake: Well we've been pretty busy lately, so I think we deserve a break. Let's go back home for the Halloween Party!
Karkat: ...IT'S NOVEMBER.
Dave: we have a time machine. your argument is invalid.
Jake: Tallyho!
*LATER, IN THE PAST...*
John Egbert: hey guys, what's up! i didn't think you were going to make it!
Karkat: SO WHO EXACTLY IS EVERYONE DRESSED AS? I'M ASKING BECAUSE I HAVE DON'T RECOGNIZE MOST OF YOU, NOT BECAUSE OF THE LIMITATIONS OF A TEXTUAL MEDIUM.
John: well in case you didn't tell by my jumpsuit, i'm supposed to be puma man, a superhero from the movie of the same name.
Rose Lalonde: For reasons I can't explain without getting into spoilers territory, Kanaya and I went as Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, from "Twilight".
Vriska: This loser wanted me to go as tinker8ell, 8ut it's a holiday so I humored him. Just as long as I got to pick HIS costume.
Tavros Nitram: uHH, yEAH, wHAT SHE SAID, aND I'M NOT TO COMFORTABLE IN THIS CAPTAIN HOOK COSTUME,
Eridan: hey nobody told me to wwear a costume
Aradia Megido: thats because n0b0dy invited y0u
Dave: nice ghost costume by the way.
Aradia: i was in a hurry s0 i threw s0mething simple t0gether but thanks
Terezi Pyrope: N3P3T4 4ND 1 G4V3 1T SOM3 THOUGHT BUT 3V3NTU4LLY S3TTL3D ON MY L1TTL3 PONY CH4R4CT3RS
Nepeta Lejoin: :33 < spike and rarity, to be purrcise!
Gamzee Makara: I CoUlDn't rEaLlY DeCiDe oN AnYtHiNg, So i jUsT PuT On mOtHeRfUcKiNg eVeRyThInG I CoUlD FiNd.
Feferi Peixes: I went as a princess!
Dave: you are a princess.
Feferi: I wanted t)(e costume to be realistic.
Jake: And Alfred... that's a very strange costume you have there...
Dave: i didn't know you were into that.
Alfred Smith: Lant, Electra and I were going to go as characters from Tales of the Abyss; Guy, Tear, and Luke, respectively. Problem is she wanted my costume, so I kinda had to give it to her. That's why I'm wearing this extremely form-fitting dress and wig.
Electra Pendragon: Like you really expected me to go as a commoner...
Lant Krek: I still say I should have gone as that guy from Cordless...
Karkat: WELL I'M JUST GLAD THAT FOR ONCE WE CAN HAVE A NIGHT THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH READING TERRIBLE FANFICTION.
Terezi: WH4T 4 CO1NC1D3NC3 R34D1NG T3RR1BL3 F4NF1CT1ON W4S TH3 F1RST TH1NG ON OUR 4G3ND4
Karkat: ...FUCK.
Nepeta: :33 < it's a gem of a story called "hart shaped love", and it's apparently written by the same guy who wrote "dave stdider pokemon traner"!
Jake: Ooh! I've always wanted to read her old work! Let's see it, then!
Chapter 1:
Bella was very nervous and scarsed as she sae the big castle. "Edward are u sure this is a good idee?" she asked concerned.
"yes bella I have to do this," Edward answere all sexily as he walked into the big castle.
Lant: Apparently they were hosting a photoshoot.
"my powers are dangerous and if I don't do this I might HURT YOU"
Karkat: BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE DANGEROUS THAN HIS ABILITY TO SPARKLE IN THE SUNLIGHT... AND HIS SUPER-STRENGTH... AND HIS INSATIABLE BLOODLUST THAT HE'S SPENT MOST OF HIS LIFE FIGHTING... AND I GUESS TELEPATHY CAN BE PRETTY DANGEROUS IN THE WRONG- OKAY NEVERMIND THIS WAS A DUMB JOKE.
he said it all angistly and sexy and it made bella sad and turned on.
Alfred: So girls find angst attractive? STOP
Dave: looks like it.
Alfred: Okay then, let me try something. *ahem* Electra! I'm really depressed and stuff because my entire family was just eaten by a rhino! STOP
Rose: Rinoceri are herbivores, Al.
Alfred: I knew that! It was a... zombie rhinoceros! Made by an evil witch doctor!
Electra: Isn't your dad over there with the adults, singing some kind of peasant drinking song?
Alfred: Uh... yes, I suppose that is him. Would you belive me if I told you that he got better?
Electra: No.
Alfred: I'll shut up, then.
The place was Hogwarts which was where they had to guard and they went in and met all the tf2 people
Eridan: objection
Dave: what now fish face??
Eridan: modern technology doesnt wwork in hogwwarts and its invvisible to muggles so the guys from team fortress 2 cant come anywwhere near the place let alone guard it. not that i wwasted my time reading the books or anything its just something i knoww okay
Dave: riiiight.
"so this is the new recruit?" sniper said all hotlike as he looked over and at at Edward who gave him dark look.
"so this is the new recruit?" sniper said all hotlike as he looked over and at at Edward who gave him dark look.
Jake: Ah yes, it appears that the sniper is giving edward a look that many cultures around the world refer to as "the evil eye". Belief that one could inflict curses upon others just by looking at them funny are said to date back to antiquety, where the greek historian plutarch believed that the eyes were capable of projecting "deadly rays of misfortune", that-
Vriska: 8ooooooooring.
Kanaya: While I Admit That I Find This Lecture Of Yours Far More Stimulating Than The Story We Are Reading If You Keep Droning On Like This Kankri Will Probably Want To Throw In His Two Cents And By Two Cents I Mean Hell Want To Write Publish And Recite Three Volume Rebuttal To Every Single Possible Opinion You May Or May Not Have
Jake: Ah, good point.
Kankri: is s9me9ne talking a69ut me?
Pinkie: Don't be a silly filly! Here, have some more marshmallows! ^-^
Kankri: It's 6izzare h9w it's cust9mary f9r spiritual types 9n Earth t9 stuff these things in their ears t9 av9id hearing the blasphemies 9f wicked spirits during the h9ll9ween seas9n. 6ut then again, if i'm the 9nly 9ne t9 uph9ld the traditi9n then s9 6e it.
Jade Harley: thats the spirit! :) and that ghost costume vriska made for you fits perfectly!
Kankri: I still think it needs eye h9les.
"What can he do?"
Dave: mostly he just stares out into the distance and sparkles. got a use for someone like that?
Eridan: he'll be great for target practice
"everyone hello this is Edward he is a vamripe and will be helping guard the base because he can see in the dark and protect from the enemy ninjas who want to capture hary potter,"
"everyone hello this is Edward he is a vamripe and will be helping guard the base because he can see in the dark and protect from the enemy ninjas who want to capture hary potter,"
Tavros: uHH,,, i GUESS STORY IS ABOUT VAMPIRES AND MERCENARIES FIGHTING NINJAS,
Vriska: Stop ruining such an awesome premise!!!!!!!!
said Dumbledore who was with the announcer who was angrily looking at htem angrily.
Karkat: PLEASE TELL ME THEY ARE NOT AN ITEM.
Nepeta: :33 < i dunno, that sounds purrfectly tempting to me!
Suddenly, Bella saw scout and he was so cute and she started to get a boner except she couldn't get one cause she was a girl.
Tavros: uHH, i DON'T THINK I SHOULD BE READING THIS,
Vriska: don't 8e such a wimp, It'll put hair on your chest (wh8ver that means).
"Hello what is up,"
Sollux: ye2, what ii2 up my home dawg2? ii2 your day on average 2atii2factory?
Scout said happily to her as he walked towards her and she felt her heart jumped a lot and she got nervous. "I'm scout. Whats you're name?"
John: isnt this guy supposed to be a colossal jerk?
Terezi: 1 G3T TH3 F33L1NG TH4T TH1S W4S WR1TT3N BY 4 SCOUT F4NG1RL
Alfred: ...Scout has fangirls? STOP
Terezi: Y34H 4PP4R3NTLY SOM3 HUM4N G1RLS TH1NK H3S SOM3 K1ND OF B4D BOY R3B3L OR SOM3TH1NG
Alfred: I'll have to try that... *ahem* Electra, I can bench-press thirty stone and can do differential calculus in my head simultaneously! Is that not impressive? STOP
Electra: Yes. It is "not impressive".
Alfred: Oh. Okay then. STOP
Alfred: Oh. Okay then. STOP
"Bella," bella said as she blushed and looked away. She started to realized that she was in love with scout!
Aradia: i hate t0 say it but i think they made bella even m0re vapid and superficial than she is in can0n
Sollux: that2... quiite an accomplii2hment.
But before she could say it scout said "ok see ya" and ran away leaving her with Edward.
Dave: ah. thats the scout we all know and love.
But she was in love with Edward! She was confused!
"KONNICHIWA!" said harry potrter to bella when they sawe each other.
Damara: くそを食べると死ぬ、人間が売春婦。
Karkat: OKAY, WHO'S THE GENIUS THAT INVITED THIS DOUCHEBAG?
Caliborn: HOW DARE YOu TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Karkat: I REITERATE MY QUESTION.
Alfred: Wait, even Caliborn has a girlfriend?! STOP
Caliborn: WHAT CAN I SAY? CHICKS DIG THE JACKET.
Damara: 私は彼のお金に興味があります。
Alfred: Oh. That explains it.
Damara: 彼は私が言っているか見当を持っていません。何てバカ。
Caliborn: HA HA HA I LOVE IT WHEN YOu TALK DIRTY.
Edward was goin to see Dumbledore and had wandered away leaving bella all alone with Harry. "My name is harry potter and I am a student here! Please to meet you!" he had willowy dark hair and sable eyes that sprakled like forests in the night
Feferi: So )(arry's eyes are vampires?
Karkat: THAT'S NOT OUT OF THE QUESTION.
and was so cute and kawaii that it made Bella blush.
Damara: この愚かなファンの女の子のスピーチをファック。私には一切日ヘンタイゲーム良いを与える。
"Hello" bella said blushing as she shook his hand and blushed.
Terezi: R3DUND4NCY M4K3S TH3 WORLD GO ROUND
"I'm bella I'm here cause my boyfirend Edward cullen whose a vampire," bella said and then Harry looked angry.
"I HATE THAT EDWARD UCLLEN HE IS SUCH A POSR!" harry yelled angrily in an angry voice before angrily stomping away in anger.
Terezi: R3DUND4NCY M4K3S TH3 WORLD GO ROUND
Jake: ...You already said that.
Terezi: YOU DONT R34LLY "G3T" S4RC4SM DO YOU
"VAMPIRES ARE TOTALLY LAME WIZARDS ARE BEST"
Karkat: FINALLY, A CHARACTER WITH REALISTIC MOTIVATIONS.
"BUT THERE NOT AS COOL AS NINJAS BELIEVE IT" a voice sudden said and suddenly Naruto appeared and kicked harry paotter in the stomach and landed.
Rose: Oh god. She's serious about adding ninjas into this fic, isn't she?
Dave: eyup.
"Konnichiwa I am naruto kun
Damara: それで、あなたはすべての時間の中で最も使い古されたアニメのキャラクターを追加しました？あなたをファック。
Jake: I have no idea what you just said.
I am from the village of leafs believe it bevlie it believie it!"
Karkat: I HATE THIS GUY ALREADY.
Damara: それは私たちのうちの2つを行います。
he had sparkling radiant deep blue far set soul searching and mystical like a pool of magical water and they were so prety and bella blushed so deep and it was so kawaii and bishie.
"Hi my name is Bella I am 17 years old and I am a goff,"
Jake: That is, she is descended from one of the many germanic tribes that went on to dominate dark ages europe.
Nepeta: :33 < and she had long ebony black hair with purple streaks and red tips that reaches her mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell her she look like amy l33 (an: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).
Bella said blusing and suddenly feeling very sad because she was confused and loved naurto
Kanaya: The Plot Thickens
and she started to danube languid tears that came on her face hard and wet and she felt so hot.
Jake: Use of the word 'danube' is no doubt a reference to the prolific fanfic author Hans von Hozel, who invented the omniword 'danube' as a way to convey every possible action that could be taken so that the reader could decide for himself what was happening.
Dave: or he just sucked at english.
Then suddenly "KONNICHIWA" and she turned to see the pretiest girl who had beautiful gorgeous conflagrant black hair and purple eyes.
Terezi: 4BOUT T1M3 4 M4RY SU3 SHOW3D UP
"helo my name is Ôsáka K'yôtô Beàtrix Narcyssa Sâkúra I am on the tf2 team konnichiwa lets be friends!"
Jake: Ms. osaka here is just one of the many fan-made "tenth class" characters created by the team fortress 2, though im at a loss as to what her combat role is exactly.
Vriska: I'm calling it now; her power is that she has all the weapons. All of them.
Lant: Do you ever get tired of that catch phrase of yours?
Vriska: Not really. 8888)
"Ok," Bella said sniffing and looking feeling a bit better. She decided she was going to do her best
Karkat: YES, I'M SURE THAT YOUR ABILITY TO FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY WILL COME IN HANDY WHEN IT COMES TO FIGHTING NINJAS.
when suddenly mcgoogle came in and screamed "OROCHIMARU HAS SUMMONED THE HEARTLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
John: i guess this is why it's called "hart shaped love".
Dave: ...what a twist??
before being attacked by a hreatless.
Rose: Rest in peace Professor McGonnigal, out of the entire cast you was the most in-character.
As they got there weapons out Bella stood there all scared and confused. "I am scared an confuse! She cry. She was confused!
Sollux: well at le2t the author know2 how two get her poiint acro22.
Chapter 2:
'i wol safe u!: scramed naruto as he ran aft3r th3 hartless wit his knufe.
Feferi: So )(arry's eyes are vampires?
Karkat: THAT'S NOT OUT OF THE QUESTION.
and was so cute and kawaii that it made Bella blush.
Damara: この愚かなファンの女の子のスピーチをファック。私には一切日ヘンタイゲーム良いを与える。
"Hello" bella said blushing as she shook his hand and blushed.
Terezi: R3DUND4NCY M4K3S TH3 WORLD GO ROUND
"I'm bella I'm here cause my boyfirend Edward cullen whose a vampire," bella said and then Harry looked angry.
"I HATE THAT EDWARD UCLLEN HE IS SUCH A POSR!" harry yelled angrily in an angry voice before angrily stomping away in anger.
Terezi: R3DUND4NCY M4K3S TH3 WORLD GO ROUND
Jake: ...You already said that.
Terezi: YOU DONT R34LLY "G3T" S4RC4SM DO YOU
"VAMPIRES ARE TOTALLY LAME WIZARDS ARE BEST"
Karkat: FINALLY, A CHARACTER WITH REALISTIC MOTIVATIONS.
"BUT THERE NOT AS COOL AS NINJAS BELIEVE IT" a voice sudden said and suddenly Naruto appeared and kicked harry paotter in the stomach and landed.
Rose: Oh god. She's serious about adding ninjas into this fic, isn't she?
Dave: eyup.
"Konnichiwa I am naruto kun
Damara: それで、あなたはすべての時間の中で最も使い古されたアニメのキャラクターを追加しました？あなたをファック。
Jake: I have no idea what you just said.
I am from the village of leafs believe it bevlie it believie it!"
Karkat: I HATE THIS GUY ALREADY.
Damara: それは私たちのうちの2つを行います。
he had sparkling radiant deep blue far set soul searching and mystical like a pool of magical water and they were so prety and bella blushed so deep and it was so kawaii and bishie.
"Hi my name is Bella I am 17 years old and I am a goff,"
Jake: That is, she is descended from one of the many germanic tribes that went on to dominate dark ages europe.
Nepeta: :33 < and she had long ebony black hair with purple streaks and red tips that reaches her mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell her she look like amy l33 (an: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).
Bella said blusing and suddenly feeling very sad because she was confused and loved naurto
Kanaya: The Plot Thickens
and she started to danube languid tears that came on her face hard and wet and she felt so hot.
Jake: Use of the word 'danube' is no doubt a reference to the prolific fanfic author Hans von Hozel, who invented the omniword 'danube' as a way to convey every possible action that could be taken so that the reader could decide for himself what was happening.
Dave: or he just sucked at english.
Then suddenly "KONNICHIWA" and she turned to see the pretiest girl who had beautiful gorgeous conflagrant black hair and purple eyes.
Terezi: 4BOUT T1M3 4 M4RY SU3 SHOW3D UP
"helo my name is Ôsáka K'yôtô Beàtrix Narcyssa Sâkúra I am on the tf2 team konnichiwa lets be friends!"
Jake: Ms. osaka here is just one of the many fan-made "tenth class" characters created by the team fortress 2, though im at a loss as to what her combat role is exactly.
Vriska: I'm calling it now; her power is that she has all the weapons. All of them.
Lant: Do you ever get tired of that catch phrase of yours?
Vriska: Not really. 8888)
"Ok," Bella said sniffing and looking feeling a bit better. She decided she was going to do her best
Karkat: YES, I'M SURE THAT YOUR ABILITY TO FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY WILL COME IN HANDY WHEN IT COMES TO FIGHTING NINJAS.
when suddenly mcgoogle came in and screamed "OROCHIMARU HAS SUMMONED THE HEARTLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
John: i guess this is why it's called "hart shaped love".
Dave: ...what a twist??
before being attacked by a hreatless.
Rose: Rest in peace Professor McGonnigal, out of the entire cast you was the most in-character.
As they got there weapons out Bella stood there all scared and confused. "I am scared an confuse! She cry. She was confused!
Sollux: well at le2t the author know2 how two get her poiint acro22.
Chapter 2:
'i wol safe u!: scramed naruto as he ran aft3r th3 hartless wit his knufe.
Tavros: ,,,I DONT THINK EVEN RANDOM LETTER GENERATORS SPELL THIS BADLY,
W/ 2 swips he took out a hartless and another hartless justr as it came 2 attack bella. 'BACK OF' EDWard said angy as he swiped at an hartless and killed it. 'LEAF MY BELLA ALONE!11'
Kanaya: You Would Think Edward Would Be A Bit More Grateful
Karkat: HE IS A TERRIBLE BOYFRIEND. AND SADLY I THINK THIS IS ACTUALLY IN CHARACTER FOR HIM.
Jarry pooter used eade cadaver and killed a hartless just ast it attack McGonagallan.
Vriska: talk a8out harm with a 8odily o8ject!
Equius: D --> soo.. hot..
Aradia: equius what have i t0ld y0u ab0ut c0ming 0ut when there are guests
Equius: D --> Am I really being commanded by a lowb100d This is wrong on so many levels.. someone get me a towel
'OH NOES' eh say as another hartless came. "WE'RE ARE OUTNUMBNERED!11'
Dave: dude. a kid with a really stupid weapon and a pair of anthropomorphic animals regularly take on armies of these things. something tells me that youre going to be okay.
Then, out of nowher, came Chaotix Rainbowz the echidna hegehog!
Then, out of nowher, came Chaotix Rainbowz the echidna hegehog!
Karkat: JUST WHEN I THOUGHT WE WERE THROUGH WITH MARY SUES...
He was emo and dark and have sparkly hare that shined like the moon when it is full and has a boner except it cant get a boner cuz it is the moon u sicko.
John: not really a good metaphor, is it?
'COSMIC LAZORZ!" he shoued and he shot a lsor that killed all the hartless and also demoman but that was ok cuz he wuz black.
Kankri: ...that's strange, I feel like I sh9uld 6e d9ing my speech 6n the issue 9f casual racism in human s9ciety.
Jade: its just you.
Pinkie: Eat ALL the cake! ^-^
Kankri: Well if y9u insist...
Bella sayed Chaotix and she felt her heart bust out of her chest.
Dave: oh god xenomorph heartless were all doomed.
He was so kawaii!1!
Damara: 私も何もこの時間を言うつもりはない。
He was an echidna hedgehog and ad rainbow hair and black fur that sprakled
Rose: According to this story the most surefire way to win a girl's heart is to cover yourself in glitter.
Alfred: I should try that someday...
like his hair and big purple silver eyes that reflected so much deep and pain. Suddenly, Bella realized she was in love with Chaotix!
Karkat: HE'S NOT EVEN YOUR OWN *SPECIES*. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR LIBDO!?
'Yay!' say scout as hartless ran. 'we are defeared the hartless!
'Yay!' say scout as hartless ran. 'we are defeared the hartless!
Sollux: congruluratiion2
Feferi: You're winner!
BUT FOR HOW LONG?" EDWARD AKSed. WE MUST DEFEAT THE HARTLESS FOR THEY ARE CONTROL NOT BY VAMRIPES BUT GANONDROF!"
BUT FOR HOW LONG?" EDWARD AKSed. WE MUST DEFEAT THE HARTLESS FOR THEY ARE CONTROL NOT BY VAMRIPES BUT GANONDROF!"
Rose: Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure he's not a Twilight villain. Even for this story he's kind of out of context.
Jake: True, but then again involving the series villains would spoil things for people who pick up the Twilight after reading this story.
Rose: ...that's a good point. Sort of.
Ganondorh! Naruto say. But they come from orochimaru!
No! sain harry. They are bold mort!
Ganondorh! Naruto say. But they come from orochimaru!
No! sain harry. They are bold mort!
Dave: bold mort... sounds like a good band name.
NO! SILENCE just then, Dumbledore come all over them and into the room.
NO! SILENCE just then, Dumbledore come all over them and into the room.
John: is it just me, or did that last line sound incredibly creepy?
They are all 4!1
Dave: oh so theyre all four years old. thats not too bad then.
'Ph noes!" bella said.
'Ph noes!" bella said.
Karkat: NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO EXPLORE THE DARK, CAVERNOUS RECESSES OF YOUR OWN NOSTRILS. PROBABLY NOT MUCH TO FIND BACK THERE ANYWAY.
'voldemort and orochimaru and goanford are team up and control hartless' Dumbledore explained. We will must have to stop them!
'voldemort and orochimaru and goanford are team up and control hartless' Dumbledore explained. We will must have to stop them!
Eridan: wwhat about the vvampires
Terezi: SCR3W THOS3 GUYS W3V3 COOL3R CROSSOV3RS TO H4V3
I will stop them, say Chaotix smexily as he gaze with gazeful eyes. Bella felt her hart asplode as she look at him.
I will stop them, say Chaotix smexily as he gaze with gazeful eyes. Bella felt her hart asplode as she look at him.
Electra: Only the second chapter and you're already recycling metaphors? How pedestrian.
'well helop[! Say scout and the tf2 team agree him.
'excellent, deucledorf say."
'well helop[! Say scout and the tf2 team agree him.
'excellent, deucledorf say."
Kanaya: I Mean That Is What We Were Paying You For If I Recall
you go slepe there. Bella, Edward, you will be in Gryffindor dormitory.
Oh Edward, bella say, I am cobnfuse!1
Oh Edward, bella say, I am cobnfuse!1
Karkat: SO AM I.
DO NOT WORRY BELLA! Edward raplies. I WILL BEAT HARTLESS AND HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
DO NOT WORRY BELLA! Edward raplies. I WILL BEAT HARTLESS AND HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
Sollux: at le2t thii2 tiime he ha2 hii2 priioriitiie2 2traiight. 2orta.
But bella not worry about hartl;ess. Bella worry of love. She is of love with naruto and harru and scout and chaotix and Edward!
But bella not worry about hartl;ess. Bella worry of love. She is of love with naruto and harru and scout and chaotix and Edward!
Tavros: wHAT ABOUT JACOB,
Vriska: What a8out jaco8? Old news. 8een there, done that. 8ought the t-shirt and took all the photos (all of them).
John: how many chapters did you say were left?
Rose: Two, if I recall.
Chapter 3:
Dave: isnt the author of twilight a mormon? i mean polygamy isnt exactly out of the question.
Jake: Dave, thats both insensitive and inaccurate; the mainstream church of latter day saints haven't supported polygamy in an incredibly long period of time, and even if they did they only allowed husbands to take multiple wives, not the other way around. I'd tell you more but i think kankri would have more to say about this.
Kankri: Indeed I d9. T9 6egin with, I w9uld like t9 draw attenti9n t9 Sir Authur C9nan D9yal's "A Study in Scarlet", an 9therwise excellent b99k which unf9rtunantly is the s9urce 9f which m9st 9f 9ur misc9ncepti9ns 9n m9rm9nism c9me fr9m...
Pinkie: Karki, hurry up! It's your turn! ^_^
Kankri: ...6ut first I must finish this game of Mari9 Party. I h9pe y9u d9n't mind.
Dave: please. take your time.
Karkat: WE INSIST.
Bolla was still p. sad nd confus wen her nd edwind went 2 Gryffindor dormitory to sex.
Karkat: ELEVEN-YEAR-OLDS LIVE THERE YOU SUCK FUCKS.
'we will now have sex' Edward Said (not teh philosopher .)
John: was that a joke? if so i dont get it.
Jake: The author is clarifying that she isn't talking edward said, a famous palestinian-american literary theoretician. He wrote a lot about post-colonial culture, which of course ties into the story's (incredibly obvious) recurring theme of racial and political tensions between the orient, western europe and the united states. The team fortress 2 characters, being a distinctly american creation, represent the united states; optimistic in its outlook yet naive in it's actions. Harry potter and dumbledore represent differing viewpoints in western europe, dumbledore embodying a wish to be friends with the world (seeing as he brought the characters from all around the world together), and harry representing a more nationalistic view (as shown by his arbitrary hatred of cullen). By the same token, sakura, chaotix and naruto represent distinct views from the east: like dumbledore sakura seeks friendship between the east and the west, caotix is isolationist in that he does his own thing while understanding that he's still beholden to western powers, and naruto represents the desire to surpass the west altogether. As for bella and edward, they are the product of a synthesis of cultures; they are both literary products unique to America, but their involvement with vampires is a nod to european tradition and folklore, and the fact that these vampires sparkle in sunlight is a reference to the "bishie sparkle" found in japanese anime, so they've got a bit of the east in them as well.
John: ...i still dont get it.
Karkat: TRUST ME, YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
as he taked off his cloths and sprakled in the moonlight like georgeos moon in moonlight which was so pretty and delicious and like ice cream but not choclate cuzxz edwrsds not black.
Kankri: There's that feeling again... are y9u sure I'm n9t needed?
Jade: just trust me on this
'balla I want u so brrd'
Nepeta: :33 < brrd brrd brrd, the brrd is the wrrd!
But bella was confus. 'I am confus'! bolta says said as Edward come on her. 'o sm in love with narto and harry pottor and scot and chaotix rainxboez the echidna hedgheog!'
'BELLA', EDWARD SAID, 'Y U NO LOVE ME' and he was so sad that he ran way crtying sparkling teats.
Eridan:
howw could this happen to meeeeee
i made my mistaaaaaakes
theres nowwhere to ruuuuuun
the night goes ooooon
and im fading awwayyyyyy
Rose: Note to self: keep Eridan away from the karaoke machine.
Becca was so confus and angry that her ovaries began churning. It was very painful but it also mase her very horny so she had to fuk something.
John: That's your go-to solution for everything, isn't it?
Cuz u see wen a girl is makin blood her ovaries churn and it makes her wantr to eat choclate and have sex so that she dosnt spew blood everywhere so ya.
Dave: okay i didnt pay much attention in sex ed but im pretty sure thats not how a period works.
Tyen she saw profebor snope and he was so emo and cute that she just got wicked horny and ha the giganticest ladyboner
Tavros: uHH, sO NOW GIRLS CAN HAVE BONERS? i'M SO CONFUSED,
and she jumped on and screamed 'YOU WILL HAVE SEX WITH MY CHURNING OVARIES'
Karkat: YOU ARE A TERRIBLE GIRLFRIEND.
Snape ponted his wond and scrummed 'ORGASMO' and makes betty have bigf orgasm so that thar was blod everywhar.
Eridan: i wwould say something snarky but lets be honest: if i wwas a wwizard that wwould probably be one of the first spells id make
Aradia: thank y0u f0r sharing y0ur bizarre sexual fetish with us. never d0 s0 again.
Oh noes say bella, why I have done?Q? she went back 2 edwrd but now he wuz haking 5some wit naruto, harry, scotu, and katy perry, that dumm preppy bitch! EDRWAD HAW COLD U?
Karkat: YOU KNOW WHAT, NEVER MIND; YOU TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER.
NO VEELA ETS NOT WHAT IT LOK LIK!
Virska: ...
Terezi: ...
Sollux: ...
Kanaya: I Believe This Is The Perfect Time For A X8 Facepalm Combo
Vriska: yep.
Terezi: 4GR33D
Sollux: totally
EDWRD SAY BUT TEN KATY PERRY LAUGHED AND FLOATED UP IN AIR AND STARTED SING CALIFOGNRIA FURLS AND EVERYONE HATED IT
Dave: oh no mediocre pop music whatever shall we do.
Eridan: wwell fight them wwith the powwer of rock
Dave: I was just joshin bro.
Eridan: oh
SHE USED HER DARK PREP POW3RS
John: oh god i'm having "my immortal" flashbacks.
2 SUMM0N THE HARTLESS WHO STYBRED ATTACKIN EVERYTHING AND BELLA WAS SO SCARED SHE SUDDENTLY HAB PERIOD AND BLOOD SPEWED EVERYWHERE ASND IT MADE EDWRD SO HORNY THAT HE STARTED TO KILL THE HARTLESS WITH THE SHEER POWER OF HIS ROCK HARD DICK
Karkat: NO. JUST... NO.
Dave: okay seriously. if anyone can beat your minions with their dick you should seriously reconsider your career in supervillany.
'NO 1 XAN STOP ME NAO; KOPY PORTY SAD. WAS IT ALL OVER FOR THEM?
Terezi: UNFORTUN4T3LY 1T 1SNT: TH3R3S ON3 MOR3 CH4PT3R OF TH1S DR1V3L NOT TO M3NT1ON 4 (BL1SSFULLY SHORT) S3QU3L. 4ND YOULL N3V3R GU3SS WH4T TH3 N3XT CROSSOV3R 1S
Karkat: OH GOD. YOU DON'T MEAN...
Vriska: Yep! From next chapter onward, this story is a homestuck crossover. 8888)
Dave: ...just when i thought i was out they pull me back in...
katy poopy laffed all evil and used her pwoers of BAD MUSIC~!1
Bolla was still p. sad nd confus wen her nd edwind went 2 Gryffindor dormitory to sex.
Karkat: ELEVEN-YEAR-OLDS LIVE THERE YOU SUCK FUCKS.
'we will now have sex' Edward Said (not teh philosopher .)
John: was that a joke? if so i dont get it.
Jake: The author is clarifying that she isn't talking edward said, a famous palestinian-american literary theoretician. He wrote a lot about post-colonial culture, which of course ties into the story's (incredibly obvious) recurring theme of racial and political tensions between the orient, western europe and the united states. The team fortress 2 characters, being a distinctly american creation, represent the united states; optimistic in its outlook yet naive in it's actions. Harry potter and dumbledore represent differing viewpoints in western europe, dumbledore embodying a wish to be friends with the world (seeing as he brought the characters from all around the world together), and harry representing a more nationalistic view (as shown by his arbitrary hatred of cullen). By the same token, sakura, chaotix and naruto represent distinct views from the east: like dumbledore sakura seeks friendship between the east and the west, caotix is isolationist in that he does his own thing while understanding that he's still beholden to western powers, and naruto represents the desire to surpass the west altogether. As for bella and edward, they are the product of a synthesis of cultures; they are both literary products unique to America, but their involvement with vampires is a nod to european tradition and folklore, and the fact that these vampires sparkle in sunlight is a reference to the "bishie sparkle" found in japanese anime, so they've got a bit of the east in them as well.
John: ...i still dont get it.
Karkat: TRUST ME, YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
as he taked off his cloths and sprakled in the moonlight like georgeos moon in moonlight which was so pretty and delicious and like ice cream but not choclate cuzxz edwrsds not black.
Kankri: There's that feeling again... are y9u sure I'm n9t needed?
Jade: just trust me on this
'balla I want u so brrd'
Nepeta: :33 < brrd brrd brrd, the brrd is the wrrd!
But bella was confus. 'I am confus'! bolta says said as Edward come on her. 'o sm in love with narto and harry pottor and scot and chaotix rainxboez the echidna hedgheog!'
'BELLA', EDWARD SAID, 'Y U NO LOVE ME' and he was so sad that he ran way crtying sparkling teats.
Eridan:
howw could this happen to meeeeee
i made my mistaaaaaakes
theres nowwhere to ruuuuuun
the night goes ooooon
and im fading awwayyyyyy
Rose: Note to self: keep Eridan away from the karaoke machine.
Becca was so confus and angry that her ovaries began churning. It was very painful but it also mase her very horny so she had to fuk something.
John: That's your go-to solution for everything, isn't it?
Cuz u see wen a girl is makin blood her ovaries churn and it makes her wantr to eat choclate and have sex so that she dosnt spew blood everywhere so ya.
Dave: okay i didnt pay much attention in sex ed but im pretty sure thats not how a period works.
Tyen she saw profebor snope and he was so emo and cute that she just got wicked horny and ha the giganticest ladyboner
Tavros: uHH, sO NOW GIRLS CAN HAVE BONERS? i'M SO CONFUSED,
and she jumped on and screamed 'YOU WILL HAVE SEX WITH MY CHURNING OVARIES'
Karkat: YOU ARE A TERRIBLE GIRLFRIEND.
Snape ponted his wond and scrummed 'ORGASMO' and makes betty have bigf orgasm so that thar was blod everywhar.
Eridan: i wwould say something snarky but lets be honest: if i wwas a wwizard that wwould probably be one of the first spells id make
Aradia: thank y0u f0r sharing y0ur bizarre sexual fetish with us. never d0 s0 again.
Oh noes say bella, why I have done?Q? she went back 2 edwrd but now he wuz haking 5some wit naruto, harry, scotu, and katy perry, that dumm preppy bitch! EDRWAD HAW COLD U?
Karkat: YOU KNOW WHAT, NEVER MIND; YOU TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER.
NO VEELA ETS NOT WHAT IT LOK LIK!
Virska: ...
Terezi: ...
Sollux: ...
Kanaya: I Believe This Is The Perfect Time For A X8 Facepalm Combo
Vriska: yep.
Terezi: 4GR33D
Sollux: totally
EDWRD SAY BUT TEN KATY PERRY LAUGHED AND FLOATED UP IN AIR AND STARTED SING CALIFOGNRIA FURLS AND EVERYONE HATED IT
Dave: oh no mediocre pop music whatever shall we do.
Eridan: wwell fight them wwith the powwer of rock
Dave: I was just joshin bro.
Eridan: oh
SHE USED HER DARK PREP POW3RS
John: oh god i'm having "my immortal" flashbacks.
2 SUMM0N THE HARTLESS WHO STYBRED ATTACKIN EVERYTHING AND BELLA WAS SO SCARED SHE SUDDENTLY HAB PERIOD AND BLOOD SPEWED EVERYWHERE ASND IT MADE EDWRD SO HORNY THAT HE STARTED TO KILL THE HARTLESS WITH THE SHEER POWER OF HIS ROCK HARD DICK
Karkat: NO. JUST... NO.
Dave: okay seriously. if anyone can beat your minions with their dick you should seriously reconsider your career in supervillany.
'NO 1 XAN STOP ME NAO; KOPY PORTY SAD. WAS IT ALL OVER FOR THEM?
Terezi: UNFORTUN4T3LY 1T 1SNT: TH3R3S ON3 MOR3 CH4PT3R OF TH1S DR1V3L NOT TO M3NT1ON 4 (BL1SSFULLY SHORT) S3QU3L. 4ND YOULL N3V3R GU3SS WH4T TH3 N3XT CROSSOV3R 1S
Karkat: OH GOD. YOU DON'T MEAN...
Vriska: Yep! From next chapter onward, this story is a homestuck crossover. 8888)
Dave: ...just when i thought i was out they pull me back in...
katy poopy laffed all evil and used her pwoers of BAD MUSIC~!1
Sollux: ii don't care how much punctuatiion you u2e; that'2 2tiill ii2n't 2cary.
ong bela and hrary an nrauto and dmubledroe. "oh no RUN" hary sida as he was HIOT withthe atack and dispaerd211!
Lant: So much for that whole "only Voldemort can kill Harry" propecy.
NOOOOOOOO bela siad but thenm ore atacks and tehn naruto and chayox rianbow the ehichnad and dmuble dore were all gnoe!
Dave: oh noooooo not chaotix rainbow you monster.
i wil have U next '; said katy as seh pont at bolta but tehn an itnerdmozneial RIFT open and out cmae the homesutck torlls!11
John: don't you just hate it when interdimensional rifts open up randomly in the middle of a battle?
HONK HONK sad honk honk as he honk a honk and honky perry.
Tavros: ,,,THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT GAMZEE, rIGHT,
Gamzee: HoNk.
NOO CRUS U katy siad as she shop atack at him but no good
DNO'T WRORY WE WIL SVAE YOU said fish mnan ho was eridiarn and sudnedly elbal fell in lveo with him too!
Eridan: yes finally i get the unrequited lovve i deservve
Dave: dont get used to it. after this chapter they never mention you again.
Eridan: wwhat
tgoteht rht torlls uesd thrie trol powrz and mdae ktay prepry and edrawd lavfe.
Karkat: SHOW DON'T TELL, Y U NO HEAR OF IT?!
I WILL GET U ksty sasid as she mdae like a john boehner and dasipeared
John: john boehner? what's that suppoed to mean?
Alfred: The closest thing I can imagine that being is "Tomb Bombadill", but even that's kind of a stretch... STOP
Dharma: 愚か者。彼女は、 "巨大なボーンヘッド"を言おうとした。
Alfred: ...why are you so inappropriate?
Dharma: なぜあなたはそのような慎み深いですか？
taht wuz so scray "bella said as seh cried" who r you?
Kanaya: I Think The Author Just Forgot How Quotation Marks Worked
we are homesutck torlls
Jake: Pose as a team, because shit just got metafictional!
and we are stuck hree cuz an DAEMON is atfer us11111! honk honk honked.
was taht the dmeon! scout siad all sxey!
yes and now it hsa yuor friends! sei crippletroll
Tavros: uHH, cAN I ASK FOR A NEW NICKNAME, pLEASE,
OH NO TIHS IS WROSE TEHN GANONDROF AND VLODEMORT ND HARTLESS WE MSUT SOTP THEM but bella was not to of the stop. blela was sad and cofnuse
Sollux: 2o no real change then.
Karkat: ...WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!
!1 now she was in lvoe wiht homestuck elves
Karkat: *FACEPALM*
who wuold die next?
Jake: Well we'll figure that out in short order; though the original story was never finished, the same author published a conclusion to the story called "pained harts" under the psuodnym " XxXCascadaerXxX", the same account she used to publish "dave stdider pokemon traner". Unlike the first story, the sequel focuses almost entirely on characters from Homestuck, and does manage to wrap things up in an exciting conclusion. Shall we proceed?
Kanaya: Might As Well
Rose: I mean we already wasted most of the night on this, why not finish it off?
Karkat: DON'T I HAVE A SAY IN THIS?!
Dave: no.
Karkat: ...FINE. WHATEVER.
((heyu guys I fogot my password to my accunt, so im using a difrent one!
Lant: So much for that whole "only Voldemort can kill Harry" propecy.
NOOOOOOOO bela siad but thenm ore atacks and tehn naruto and chayox rianbow the ehichnad and dmuble dore were all gnoe!
Dave: oh noooooo not chaotix rainbow you monster.
i wil have U next '; said katy as seh pont at bolta but tehn an itnerdmozneial RIFT open and out cmae the homesutck torlls!11
John: don't you just hate it when interdimensional rifts open up randomly in the middle of a battle?
HONK HONK sad honk honk as he honk a honk and honky perry.
Tavros: ,,,THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT GAMZEE, rIGHT,
Gamzee: HoNk.
NOO CRUS U katy siad as she shop atack at him but no good
DNO'T WRORY WE WIL SVAE YOU said fish mnan ho was eridiarn and sudnedly elbal fell in lveo with him too!
Eridan: yes finally i get the unrequited lovve i deservve
Dave: dont get used to it. after this chapter they never mention you again.
Eridan: wwhat
tgoteht rht torlls uesd thrie trol powrz and mdae ktay prepry and edrawd lavfe.
Karkat: SHOW DON'T TELL, Y U NO HEAR OF IT?!
I WILL GET U ksty sasid as she mdae like a john boehner and dasipeared
John: john boehner? what's that suppoed to mean?
Alfred: The closest thing I can imagine that being is "Tomb Bombadill", but even that's kind of a stretch... STOP
Dharma: 愚か者。彼女は、 "巨大なボーンヘッド"を言おうとした。
Alfred: ...why are you so inappropriate?
Dharma: なぜあなたはそのような慎み深いですか？
taht wuz so scray "bella said as seh cried" who r you?
Kanaya: I Think The Author Just Forgot How Quotation Marks Worked
we are homesutck torlls
Jake: Pose as a team, because shit just got metafictional!
and we are stuck hree cuz an DAEMON is atfer us11111! honk honk honked.
was taht the dmeon! scout siad all sxey!
yes and now it hsa yuor friends! sei crippletroll
Tavros: uHH, cAN I ASK FOR A NEW NICKNAME, pLEASE,
OH NO TIHS IS WROSE TEHN GANONDROF AND VLODEMORT ND HARTLESS WE MSUT SOTP THEM but bella was not to of the stop. blela was sad and cofnuse
Sollux: 2o no real change then.
Karkat: ...WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!
!1 now she was in lvoe wiht homestuck elves
Karkat: *FACEPALM*
who wuold die next?
Jake: Well we'll figure that out in short order; though the original story was never finished, the same author published a conclusion to the story called "pained harts" under the psuodnym " XxXCascadaerXxX", the same account she used to publish "dave stdider pokemon traner". Unlike the first story, the sequel focuses almost entirely on characters from Homestuck, and does manage to wrap things up in an exciting conclusion. Shall we proceed?
Kanaya: Might As Well
Rose: I mean we already wasted most of the night on this, why not finish it off?
Karkat: DON'T I HAVE A SAY IN THIS?!
Dave: no.
Karkat: ...FINE. WHATEVER.
((heyu guys I fogot my password to my accunt, so im using a difrent one!
Karkat: THAT DOES NOT BODE WELL.
This is part 2 2 my fanfction HART SHAPED LOVE. my wirting skillz have improved i tink
John: well I certainly "hop" so!
so enjoy!))
HOW CAN WE BEET GONODRF AND THE DEMON? Bella sceamrd! she pxked up her shoe abd threw it at katkat the trol becuz she wuz ANGY!
HOW CAN WE BEET GONODRF AND THE DEMON? Bella sceamrd! she pxked up her shoe abd threw it at katkat the trol becuz she wuz ANGY!
Karkat: ...I'M GOING TO HATE THIS, WON'T I?
we have no other coice katkar sed sexily.
we have no other coice katkar sed sexily.
dave: looks like it.
we mstq fnid the SEACED SOTNES before gandorf deos. Ifz we don't gandoof will desoy the entire world!
Eridan: nooooo not the wworld thats wwhere i keep all my stuff
i argee. Tarpezi said. once we hvea them gandalf wont stand a CHANCE!
i argee. Tarpezi said. once we hvea them gandalf wont stand a CHANCE!
Lant: Gandalf is pretty much the complete opposite of the guy you're trying to fight. But then again if you can beat him you can probably beat Ganondorf too, so what do I know?
go then Edward spoke solfthy and sensiuallpy. once he is sopped, bella and I can luve happily 4eva.
go then Edward spoke solfthy and sensiuallpy. once he is sopped, bella and I can luve happily 4eva.
Terezi: NOT W1THOUT 4 GOOD M4RR14G3 COUNS3LOR YOU WONT
Byt bella wuz CONDUSED. kitkat waz waaaaaay cutr than Edwin.
Byt bella wuz CONDUSED. kitkat waz waaaaaay cutr than Edwin.
Karkat: NOT INTERESTED.
maybe she didn't want to luv edwarp foreva.
Karkat: NOT CARING.
karkap and terezi then left to go finm thd zotnes, and bella criped
karkap and terezi then left to go finm thd zotnes, and bella criped
Alfred: Cripes! STOP
Electra: ...
Alfred: Yeah that was pretty bad. I'll stop now. STOP
becuz she missd him! (kafkat not tarpezi) watz is wong? edward asked.
Bella just criped more becuz she wss xo of da confud. honk honk came. and he said honk honk which meens are u in luv wit katrak? Byt it just sounds lik onk honk cuz thats all he can say.
Bella just criped more becuz she wss xo of da confud. honk honk came. and he said honk honk which meens are u in luv wit katrak? Byt it just sounds lik onk honk cuz thats all he can say.
Aradia: i w0uld p0int 0ut that gamzee can speek just fine but at this p0int i think its a little much t0 expect the st0ry t0 keep c0ntinuity with itself let al0ne can0n
Gamzee: hOnK.
Menwhile karkar nd terezi were on a hil by hyruls catsle, when katker said I LOVEE U TREZI!
Menwhile karkar nd terezi were on a hil by hyruls catsle, when katker said I LOVEE U TREZI!
Caliborn: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS FOR THE WEAK!!!!!!!!!!!
adn he KISSED HER
then dvae appead thru a time portal and yelled NOOOOO becuz he luvved terezi
then dvae appead thru a time portal and yelled NOOOOO becuz he luvved terezi
Dave: ...like id ever be that melodramatic.
and garry potter snd honkhonk sowed up and challnged dave to a fighf except not jonk honk bcuz he wuz drunk lol.
Sollux: ...moviing on.
and sniper and scout where ther 2 but they lerft becuz they got board.
and sniper and scout where ther 2 but they lerft becuz they got board.
Vriska: I think these guys have the right idea.
dave wuz so mad that terepi kissded kitkat that he used his angr and killed hippy popper with his sord that wuz very shrap.;
dave wuz so mad that terepi kissded kitkat that he used his angr and killed hippy popper with his sord that wuz very shrap.;
Tavros: dIDN'T HARRY DIE ONCE ALREADY,
Sollux: ii blame tiimey-wiimey 2henaniigan2.
he tired to kill katkat 2 butt tarpepi stoppd him becuz karkit wuz her firedn and so dvae dicided to join theirt to the party
Terezi: L3TS NOT WORRY TOO MUCH 4BOUT TH3 D34D GUY
adn tey wne tot get da stones 2 beet the bad duds.
John: unfortunately for the heroes, it turned out that the bad dudes were out rescuing the president from ninjas.
Meanwhile bela was skulkingg in da castly halls becuz she was a goff and she wuz so sad and she mizzed naruto and karykat and chaotix.
Meanwhile bela was skulkingg in da castly halls becuz she was a goff and she wuz so sad and she mizzed naruto and karykat and chaotix.
Karkat: YOU KNEW THEM FOR ALL OF FIVE MINUTES... AND WHY CAN'T SHE GET MY NAME RIGHT?!
then crippletroll apperd and said 'don't fel bad I stil love u/ but bella cried mor and run away bcuz she don't like cripples.
then crippletroll apperd and said 'don't fel bad I stil love u/ but bella cried mor and run away bcuz she don't like cripples.
Vriska: Isn't it sad, tavros?
Tavros: uHH, a LITTLE,,,
she run and run until she look the behind hr adn saw JCAK NOIRE!
Nepeta: :33 < *bum bum buuuuuum!*
i will satb u jack sad
i will satb u jack sad
Kanaya: What A Deep And Complex Character
and he sartd to chaze bel with his sord wic was blapck and shrap with blud all ova it.
Dave: is it always like that or did he stab someone else on the way over here??
Bela found da blud hot and she realisd she luved jak 2! Even thouh he wnatef to kill her!
Bela found da blud hot and she realisd she luved jak 2! Even thouh he wnatef to kill her!
Alfred: ...well now. STOP
Lant: I can't say I'm surprised.
She hidd in he room but hee shot GREN FIRE.
Edwin saved her thog by xdresing as a mailmen and jack chased him away!
Edwin saved her thog by xdresing as a mailmen and jack chased him away!
Karkat: IF ONLY IT WAS THAT EASY...
bella st down and creid becuauuse edwart migt not survibe!
Nepeta: :33 < you have no chance to survive, make your time.
kitkar ad trezi and dave wer climbng mount doom 2 fnid the stones wen frodo came and brot them mtn climing gear becuz they wer bad a climing and they needed help.
kitkar ad trezi and dave wer climbng mount doom 2 fnid the stones wen frodo came and brot them mtn climing gear becuz they wer bad a climing and they needed help.
Dave: so now we're in middle earth? fuck this is confusing.
Thy thankd frobo and he left agaig to the sheer wher he cmae form. Thy finised clining but ther wuz onli lava at the top! no scared stones!
oh no tarezi yeled we cmae so farr! 'but wiat' kitkat said. we knw wher da stones wer all oblong!/! he reaced in2 the climing gear and puled out a map 2 the stones!
Thy thankd frobo and he left agaig to the sheer wher he cmae form. Thy finised clining but ther wuz onli lava at the top! no scared stones!
oh no tarezi yeled we cmae so farr! 'but wiat' kitkat said. we knw wher da stones wer all oblong!/! he reaced in2 the climing gear and puled out a map 2 the stones!
Lant: ...what a troll. Uh, no offence.
Tavros: nONE TAKEN,
yay! trapezi yeled and she gae karkart a firnedly kiss becuz she was thakfl. dave got mad though and KILLED KITKAT!
yay! trapezi yeled and she gae karkart a firnedly kiss becuz she was thakfl. dave got mad though and KILLED KITKAT!
Rose: Well at least this romantic subplot was coherent, even if it was really stupid.
tarpepi didn't care thou becuz karkar wuz meen and abusive and evil and bad like jak excpt he wuz n elf not a dogg.
tarpepi didn't care thou becuz karkar wuz meen and abusive and evil and bad like jak excpt he wuz n elf not a dogg.
Karkat: AND FUCK YOU TOO, BUDDY.
back at da catsle edwap wuz running form jack and then redblue troll cmae adn shot him wit oticp blast and jcak ran away becuz redbule was scray and he cud hurt jcak.
back at da catsle edwap wuz running form jack and then redblue troll cmae adn shot him wit oticp blast and jcak ran away becuz redbule was scray and he cud hurt jcak.
Sollux: oh iif only.
thank u edward sed but redblue troll wuz rely a HARTLESS!
thank u edward sed but redblue troll wuz rely a HARTLESS!
Eridan: im really getting tired of these random plot twwists i mean wwhats next the heartless turns into mickey mouse?
he came towarp edwarg but edward pulped off his short and reveled his boatiful shining abbs. the hartless insanity turned in2 mciky mouse.
Eridan: gog damnit
golly ge mick siad but edward killed him becuz he was such a prep.
golly ge mick siad but edward killed him becuz he was such a prep.
Dave: im sure that killing a beloved company mascot whos also the big good guy of the kingdom hearts series will do wonders for your reputation.
bela ran towarps him and huggled him tite becuz she realizfed that edaro wus the only guy she rly luved. karpart and scoot and sniper and naruto and chaotix wehere a;ll just pozers becuz edward wuz her true luv 4ever.
bela ran towarps him and huggled him tite becuz she realizfed that edaro wus the only guy she rly luved. karpart and scoot and sniper and naruto and chaotix wehere a;ll just pozers becuz edward wuz her true luv 4ever.
Vriska: I guess that plot thread was just completely worthless!
Kapy pratty was mad
Terezi: OH Y34H SH3S 1N TH31 STORY
as help nd she sent her minioions bowser and paranaplant to go anp derstoy terepi and dvea becuz they were goina find the sacreded stones and kill the deemon!
John: bowser working for katey perry? i'm not even going to ask anymore.
Hey u chumps stop bowsa sed.
no terezi and dave sed at da same time becuz theywere luvers now.
Hey u chumps stop bowsa sed.
no terezi and dave sed at da same time becuz theywere luvers now.
bowzer then pulled out a gnu and shop terepi but he didn't rely becuz dave cud time travel so he svead terzi and killed bowser.
Dave: i should thought of that ages ago. would have saved us all lot of trouble.
i will have reveng bowsa yelped
katy preppy saw this thru her magic toilet
i will have reveng bowsa yelped
katy preppy saw this thru her magic toilet
Feferi: because apparently s)(e )(as one.
and turned in2 an big dragun becuze bowser wuz her best henchman and she wuz pissssed becuz he was gone now.
Jake: Technically, rule 34 of the evil overlord list doesn't say anything about minions turning into giant monsters...
dave and terpi found the stpnes in da hogwats garden and went bec to kill the daemin but katy came frist and siad if you beet me I will let naruto and chaotix go but it wuz too late becuz bella killed katy poopy b4 she finished taking.
dave and terpi found the stpnes in da hogwats garden and went bec to kill the daemin but katy came frist and siad if you beet me I will let naruto and chaotix go but it wuz too late becuz bella killed katy poopy b4 she finished taking.
Kanaya: That Was An Incredibly Satisfying Character Arc. Never Do It Again
u guys did it! bella creird. but were is kitkat?
kitkat is ded terezi sed. dave killed him wit his sworp.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bella yeled. karkart wuz my FIEEEND! She lungd at dav but dave was 2 quipck and he dodped bella.
u guys did it! bella creird. but were is kitkat?
kitkat is ded terezi sed. dave killed him wit his sworp.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bella yeled. karkart wuz my FIEEEND! She lungd at dav but dave was 2 quipck and he dodped bella.
Dave: like a boss.
jupt then chaotiz and naruto showwped up and they siad hey bella we luv u come hav a treesome!
bel said no becxuz she only luved edwarp now and chaotiz and naruto are zombies!
jupt then chaotiz and naruto showwped up and they siad hey bella we luv u come hav a treesome!
bel said no becxuz she only luved edwarp now and chaotiz and naruto are zombies!
Aradia: and y0u just n0w n0ticed this
bella give us brians. dey siad.
bella give us brians. dey siad.
John: i mean noone's gonna eat your eyes.
NO! then rick from the walking ded came and slyed the zombies with his gnu and he was super seyx. but then jack came and stabed him because rick isnt impotent jack telproted out becuz hes jcak.
NO! then rick from the walking ded came and slyed the zombies with his gnu and he was super seyx. but then jack came and stabed him because rick isnt impotent jack telproted out becuz hes jcak.
Dave: ...not even worth commenting.
Terzi assed is he the demon
bella said maybe then edward came and gave herp a big hug becuz he is sexxy like dat.
dave said so you're a cupple now and bella siad yess.
Gud for u! terezi said.
Terzi assed is he the demon
bella said maybe then edward came and gave herp a big hug becuz he is sexxy like dat.
dave said so you're a cupple now and bella siad yess.
Gud for u! terezi said.
Karkat: GLAD WE GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY.
then they waked inside the cattle and puled ut the stoners
Gamzee: DuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuDe.
ad they glowped bright green and honk honk cried becuz it wuz so beatiful. then professor snope came and yeled at them
put those away he siad
no bella reptiled
Terezi: C4NT 4RGU3 W1TH TH4T LOG1C
snap then riped off his fake and he was JACK!
John: oh my god snape was really Jack Noir all along! this changes... absolutely nothing.
u put that way rigt now or i will kill u!
Vriska: How's that for a re8uttal?
terezi smarked him and he got madbut he stabed dave frist.
terfi I love you go kill jack dave siad
tereki garbed the sotnes and thru them at jack
Ganzee: NoT CoOl mAn, NoT CoOl.
NOPOOO jak yelled as he disaperd.
then voledmort came out of da shadows and revealed himself as LROD ENGLAND THE DEOMN.
Caliborn:
ONE SHITTY TWIST TO RuLE THEM ALL, ONE SHITTY TWIST TO FIND THEM,
ONE SHITTY TWIST TO BRING THEM ALL AND IN THE DARKNESS BIND THEM.
Jake: Actually if you look back a bit you'll see this twist was heavily foreshadowed.
Dave: where??
Jake: ...Um, well... the character was born in england. That counts, right?
ill save you bella edward said as he jumped in fornt of lord voldemort .
Karkat: YES, YES, SACRIFICE YOURSELF SO WE DON'T NEED TO SPEND ANY MORE TIME AROUND YOU! PLEASE!
edward was so pure harted that lord englymort bumed up at the site of his beatiful shinig body
Karkat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
yaya we beat lord engliash bella said
Kanaya: If Only It Was That Easy
then eveyone came bak to life and not as zombys like naruto and chaotix except kary party and bowser becuz their bad guise.
Dave: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
the end.
Karkat: AND THANK GOD FOR THAT.
Jake: So what did you guys think about the story?
John: it was okay. kinda stupid, but in a good way.
Dave: seems pretty well read for a troll though.
Kanaya: I Would Hardly Call This Literature.
Rose: Well it's worth a few good laughs.
Feferi: Makes good lig)(t reading.
Eridan: wwhy does nobody lovve meeee
Nepeta: :33 < n33ds more shipping!
Vriska: Needs more action.
Tavros: uHH, wHAT SHE SAID,
Terezi: 1M LOOK1NG FORW4RD TO TH3 S3QU3L
Gamzee: hOnK.
Karkat: WELL I FOR ONE AM CERTAIN THAT THIS IS THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL. NO MATTER HOW BAD DAVE STDIDER GETS, I NOW KOW FOR A FACT THAT NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY BE WORSE THAN-
Future!Dave: yo.
Dave: woah.
Karkat: NOW WHAT?!
Future!Dave: i am from the future and i have a urgant message for you karkat vantas.
Karkat: WHAT?
Future!Dave: unless you review this comic book the universe will explode in seven days.
John: wow, though break.
Karkat: OH WELL, HOW BAD CAN ONE COMIC BOOK-
then they waked inside the cattle and puled ut the stoners
Gamzee: DuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuDe.
ad they glowped bright green and honk honk cried becuz it wuz so beatiful. then professor snope came and yeled at them
put those away he siad
no bella reptiled
Terezi: C4NT 4RGU3 W1TH TH4T LOG1C
snap then riped off his fake and he was JACK!
John: oh my god snape was really Jack Noir all along! this changes... absolutely nothing.
u put that way rigt now or i will kill u!
Vriska: How's that for a re8uttal?
terezi smarked him and he got madbut he stabed dave frist.
terfi I love you go kill jack dave siad
tereki garbed the sotnes and thru them at jack
Ganzee: NoT CoOl mAn, NoT CoOl.
NOPOOO jak yelled as he disaperd.
then voledmort came out of da shadows and revealed himself as LROD ENGLAND THE DEOMN.
Caliborn:
ONE SHITTY TWIST TO RuLE THEM ALL, ONE SHITTY TWIST TO FIND THEM,
ONE SHITTY TWIST TO BRING THEM ALL AND IN THE DARKNESS BIND THEM.
Jake: Actually if you look back a bit you'll see this twist was heavily foreshadowed.
Dave: where??
Jake: ...Um, well... the character was born in england. That counts, right?
ill save you bella edward said as he jumped in fornt of lord voldemort .
Karkat: YES, YES, SACRIFICE YOURSELF SO WE DON'T NEED TO SPEND ANY MORE TIME AROUND YOU! PLEASE!
edward was so pure harted that lord englymort bumed up at the site of his beatiful shinig body
Karkat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
yaya we beat lord engliash bella said
Kanaya: If Only It Was That Easy
then eveyone came bak to life and not as zombys like naruto and chaotix except kary party and bowser becuz their bad guise.
Dave: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
the end.
Karkat: AND THANK GOD FOR THAT.
Jake: So what did you guys think about the story?
John: it was okay. kinda stupid, but in a good way.
Dave: seems pretty well read for a troll though.
Kanaya: I Would Hardly Call This Literature.
Rose: Well it's worth a few good laughs.
Feferi: Makes good lig)(t reading.
Eridan: wwhy does nobody lovve meeee
Nepeta: :33 < n33ds more shipping!
Vriska: Needs more action.
Tavros: uHH, wHAT SHE SAID,
Terezi: 1M LOOK1NG FORW4RD TO TH3 S3QU3L
Gamzee: hOnK.
Karkat: WELL I FOR ONE AM CERTAIN THAT THIS IS THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL. NO MATTER HOW BAD DAVE STDIDER GETS, I NOW KOW FOR A FACT THAT NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY BE WORSE THAN-
*SUDDENLY A TIME MACHINE!*
Future!Dave: yo.
Dave: woah.
Karkat: NOW WHAT?!
Future!Dave: i am from the future and i have a urgant message for you karkat vantas.
Karkat: WHAT?
Future!Dave: unless you review this comic book the universe will explode in seven days.
John: wow, though break.
Karkat: OH WELL, HOW BAD CAN ONE COMIC BOOK-
I laughed from beginning to end.
ReplyDeleteJake English: Plus you're already stretching our audience's patience by making caius ballad our main villain. If they don't know who he is, they certainly wont know about kotomine.
ReplyDelete^-- I resent that remark Jake! I knew who Kotomine was before I knew who Caius was! Granted, that was because I never got around to playing FF XIII-2 (After playing X-2 I swore off the second numbered FF games.)
...taking in account the updates of some weeks ago; jake saying "tallyho" is kinda prophetic in a twisted way (????)
ReplyDelete