Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Jake English's Mysterious Theater of Scientific Romance from the Year 3000 Episode 20



This is actually the original fic's actual cover art. I just borrowed it because I'm lazy.

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Jake English: Here we are, Equestria, the winter of 2012. According to our research, the next clue is located on the DNA sequence of HoundFox virus. A virus that, if not stopped, could mutate into a supervirus that would destroy all of Equestria! No doubt Caius' meddling with the timeline will prevent the vaccine from being made, thus allowing him to acquire a virus sample more easily!

Dave Strider: how are we going to do that?

Jake: Simple! We just need to accelerate research on the virus. *notices Twilight Sparkle walking down the street* Quiet, here she comes. Now, the plan is that i'm going to pretend to be an unconscious argentinean youth, while karkat will play the part of an irate organ grinder. Now, when i give the signal, we will begin to sing select verses from 'the sound of music' for pinkie to steal twilight sparkle's day planner. Then dave will go back in time and ensure though time shenanigans that-

Pinkie Pie: Hey, Twi! Whatever you do, make sure you make a vaccine for the HoundFox virus! ^0^

Twilight Sparkle: Thanks Pinkie, but I got that done yesterday*

Pinkie: Wow! That was fast!

Twilight: Uh, thank you? Oh, and Pinkie, are you are coming to the Christmas party next week?

Pinkie: At Jade's place? Wouldn't miss it for the world!

Twilight: Glad to hear it. Sorry I can't stick around, I have some research to do on what this "Christmas" thing is all about in the first place.

Karkat Vantas: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. CAN WE GO NOW?

Jake: I'm afraid not. The time machine still needs to refuel.

Karkat: UGH. IF WE'RE GOING TO READ BADFICS, CAN WE AT LEAST GET OUT OF THE COLD FIRST?

Pinkie: Sure! Let's go to my place!

====SO THEY DID====

Dave Strider: well i guess we've been putting this off for a while. how about we read a my little pony fic?

Jake: And I suppose you have a story in mind?


Jake: I actually haven't heard of this one. What's it about?

Dave: i dunno. ponies metal gear and christmas i guess. it's actually not that bad but the premise i think is crazy enough to be worth a look.

Jake: Great! Now, for those who arn't initiated, my little pony is a toy franchise owned by hasbro that's spawned numerous cartoons and movies. The most recent of which is the cartoon my little pony: friendship is magic, which as you may be aware has taken the internet by storm. Nobody really knows why this particular iteration of the franchise is so successful, but if i were to take a guess it's because it's a very well done cartoon coming from an unexpected place.

Dave: metal gear on the other hand is a series of deconstructive stealth-action games made by konami, centering around an espionage guy called "solid snake" and (in later installments) his clone/father known as "big boss". the series is notable for having a convoluted plot about war and politics and shit as well as very long (but very well made) cutscenes. it also helps that hideo kojima (the producer) has a reputation for being very eccentric. not unlike a certain huss of lips.

Karkat: TOO MUCH TALKING.

It was a cold, snowy day in December. David was walking about the streets enjoying his freedom.

Dave: david? is this a homestuck crossover too?

Jake: That's solid snake's real name.

Dave: oh. i knew that. i was just testing you.

He used to be a top secret espionage agent, but after his brother, Liquid Ocelot, was defeated and the Patriots were ended, he could now live the rest of his days as a human being.

Jake: Here the author is setting the time frame of the story as being some time after Metal Gear Solid 4.

Pinkie: Of course that wasn't really Liquid in MGS4! It was actually Ocelot Revolver pretending to be possessed by the ghost of Liquid Snake through hypnoses after he removed liquid snake's disembodied arm, which really was possessing Ocelot in Metal Gear Solid 2!

Karkat: ...VIDEO GAMES ARE STUPID.

Sure, there were a lot of difficulties in adjusting to civilization, but with help from his good friend, Dr. Hal Emmerich, he was doing well. 

Karkat: BECAUSE THE NERDY GUY WHO THOUGHT DESIGNING A GIANT ROBOT WITH A NUCLEAR RAILGUN WOULD BRING WORLD PEACE, ONCE SLEPT WITH HIS STEPMOM,  WITNESSED THE DEATH OF EVERY WOMAN HE'S EVER LOVED (INCLUDING HIS SISTER), AND GOES THROUGH A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN IN *EVERY* *SINGLE* *GAME* CLEARLY KNOWS HOW TO LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD.

It was almost Christmas and has been at least five years since anyone called him by his code name, ‘Solid Snake’ (or ‘Old Snake’, as his last mission called him).

Dave: which because of his genetically-encoded rapid aging means he should be dead by now.

The world was improving from its control by the System very well, and quickly too. 

Dave: yep. now that the patriots and the war economy are gone i guess the world just snapped back to normal.

Snake was getting pretty old nowadays however. He knew that he would pass away within the next year or so, but he was happy to see how quick the world recuperated.

He was now on his way back home, a moderately sized house bought by Dr. Emmerich and Sunny, a girl who is under Dr. Emmerich’s custody.

Jake: Note that, like hideo kojima himself, this author has made it vague if snake and emmerich are a couple. Instead it's up to the reader to determine it.

Karkat: I HATE SLASH FIC I HATE SLASH FIC I HATE SLASH FIC I HATE SLASH FIC

Dave: whats the big deal?? your entire species is bisexual. 

Kankri: Als9, (trigger warning f9r h9m9ph9bes, 6y the way), its n9t very p9litcally c9rrect t9 express a dislike f9r a genre 9f ficti9n that centeres ar9nd h9m9sexual relati9ns. 

Dave: kanri what are you doing in equestria?

Kankri: Pinkie Pie is helping me 6ake Gluten-Free N9n-Den9minati9nal H9liday C99kies. I w9uld say it's harder than it l99ks, 6ut when I think that I realize that privileged life 9f an intellectual that I have lead s9 far has n9t prepared me f9r the trials 9f the w9rking class. Thus I see learning to c99k it was a way t9 better myself.

Pinkie: Porrim wanted him to get out of the house every once in a while. -_-

Dave: i cant imagine why.

“Hey everyone, I’m back.” David said as he entered the house.

Karkat: YOU KNOW, IF SNAKE IS OLD ENOUGH TO BE JUST A YEAR AWAY FROM DYING, MAYBE IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA TO LET HIM WALK AROUND IN THE FREEZING COLD. JUST SAYING.

“Oh, hey David, Sunny just went to bed now. She’s excited about whatever you got her for Christmas tomorrow. I’m actually curious as to what you got her…. Anyways, where’d you walk to today?” Hal replied.

“Hmph… You know me Hal… I don’t walk places, I just walk… And eventually, I return here…

Karkat: OH GOD WITH THE ELLIPSIS.

And I got her some cooking utensils. You know, so she can make eggs for everyone again.”

Hal chuckled a little. “Ha, I should’ve figured. She was so upset when we lost them during move-in.

Dave: i cant believe shes still fixated on eggs five years later.

Jake: Well it is implied she has neurological problems. I mean whatever The Patriots did to her coupled with the strange life she's led can't have been good for her mental development.

Karkat: MY QUESTION IS, WHAT HAVE THEY BEEN EATING ALL THIS TIME?

 So, I’m going to go to bed soon, we have a big day tomorrow so I’d get to bed if I were you.”

Dave: and make sure you dont kill santa this time.

David’s tone getting serious now, “Yeah… Hey Hal… What are you guys going to do when I’m gone?” 

Karkat: OH I DON'T KNOW, HOW ABOUT "GET TOGETHER WITH A WOMAN WHO ISN'T SECRETLY A SPY DESTINED TO DIE TRAGICALLY"?

“Don’t tell me you were thinking about that again… I... I don’t want to deal with that until it happens, David. And I don’t want to worry Sunny about it either.

Dave: maybe if we ignore the problem it will just go away?

So let’s stop talking about this and get some sleep.” Hal never liked talking to David when he was thinking about his passing away. It made Hal nearly cry the last time they talked, but somehow he managed to get David to stop by deciding they would take Sunny to some fast-food place.

Dave: i guess you could say



“But… What if it comes back? We didn’t exactly get rid of Metal Gear… It’s out there somewhere… 

Dave: and then a metal gear popped out.

It’s only a matter of ti-“

“Stop it David! Our missions are done and nobody is going to get their hands on Metal Gear’s remains. 

Dave: wanna bet?

Jake: Though to be fair, when this story was released i dont think it was quite certain what time period metal gear rising was going to take place in.

 Go to Bed!” Hal interrupted in a fierce whisper which was just quiet enough not to wake Sunny.

“Sorry Hal… You’re right… I’m going to bed now, see you in the morning…” With that, David turned to the stairs and went to his room. He laid down on his bed staring at the ceiling. There really is no way that Metal Gear could be found anyways. 

Karkat: AND NOW YOU'VE PRETTY MUCH GUARANTEED THAT METAL GEAR IS GOING TO BE FOUND.

Most of them were with Outer Haven…. I need sleep… 

David then slowly drifted into a deeper sleep than normal.

------------------------------------------------

“Otacon, I’m in the base.”

“Great job Snake, now remember, all you need to do is destroy the last Metal Gear from existence and then you can have Christmas with us.” Otacon replied.

Pinkie: Are you a bad enough dude to destroy the Metal Gear?

Snake snuck past a pair of guards in the large open room and proceeded to enter the room housing the final Metal Gear in existence. 

Dave: well that was uneventful.

He looked around the room. There were no guards in here at all. It’s so strange how there’s hardly anyone in this entire place. 

Pinkie:



There were only two guards, and I don’t even remember how I got in the last room… Whatever, I have to finish my job. 

Dave: hold on. someones calling me. hello?

Caliborn (on phone): CRITICAL THINKING IS FOR THE WEAK!!!!!!!!!!! *click*

Dave: i really need to get an unlisted number.

He walked up to the Metal Gear and placed C4 all around it and started to walk out of the room.

Dave: remember. cool guys dont look at explosions.

A loud booming voice came echoing throughout the room, “WE DEEM YOU WORTHY OF KEEPING. YOU WILL COME TO US AND DESTROY THIS MACHINE SUMMONED FROM YOUR WORLD.”

Karkat: ...OH GREAT, THIS IS KINGDOM HEARTS ALL OVER AGAIN, ISN'T IT?

Dave: at least this mysterious voice is quick about it.

Snake turned around, falling to the ground as the volume of the words hit him. When he turned around everything was dark, the Metal Gear was gone, and the whole building was gone.

Dave: man that must have been some explosion.

 He was outside and surrounded by dark clouds and a large silhouette was in front of him. There was a great big full moon behind the silhouette. The shape of the silhouette reminded him something of some show Sunny liked to watch, but he had no idea what it was.

Jake: Makes sense, seeing how Snake hasn't really ever had downtime before.

Karkat: SO MY LITTLE PONY IS FICTIONAL IN SNAKE'S WORLD, BUT... ARG! I'M NOT GOING TO TRY TO DECIPHER THIS.

“What are you talking about? And why me? My job is done.” Snake replied.

“THERE IS A MACHINE THAT OUR GREAT SISTER HAS SUMMONED INTO OUR WORLD AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DESTROY IT.”

Dave: i thought we made that pretty clear.

“What? I don’t have any sister and stop with the voice. What do you want?” Snake was now having crossed feelings of fear and confusion. Snake started to notice that the silhouette looked like a horse or pony of some kind with wings and a horn.

Jake: Faced with the prospect of death, Snake is now progressing through the stages of grief defined by the K├╝bler-Ross model.

 I need to stop falling asleep on the couch. Sunny’s shows are now getting in my dreams…

“YOU ARE NOT ON THE COUCH, AND WE MUST LEAVE NOW! WE WILL SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET HERE!” The silhouette boomed out, knocking Snake against the wall behind him which returned along with the rest of the room. As the Metal Gear room returned, the silhouette disappeared. This was getting crazy to Snake now. He must be dreaming, because none of this is making sense. 

Jake: That was stage 1; denial. Snake considers this to be just a dream.

 He then found his detonator and pressed it. It wasn’t working. He checked the C4 on and around the large machine. It looked just fine; maybe it just happened to not go off? He stepped back and pressed the button again. Nothing happened again. But then the Metal Gear came to life and aimed all of its weapons at Snake.

Jake: Stage 2; anger. Snake attempts to take his rage out on the machine standing in front of him, representing his fate.

Dave: well that didn't work out so well.

Snake pulled out an AK-47 and started to fire. Only confetti came out of the gun in pretty Christmas colors. The Metal Gear was slowly walking towards him. He pulled out his handgun and fired. This time, it shot a round of wrapped up boxes at the machine that did nothing except irritate Snake.

Jake: Stage 3: bargaining. Snake now attempts to use his other weapons to destroy the metal gear, representing his struggle against fate.

What in the hell? This doesn’t make any sense! He ran off to the side where he found a rocket launcher. He picked it up and fired at the machine. 

Jake: Stage 4: heavy ordiance. Snake tries to cope with loss by retrieving a huge, phallic-shaped weapon to assert his manhood. 

The machine stopped. There was a colorful explosion that made the room hard to see. 

Jake: Stage 5: cheap laughs. Convinced that life is inherently absurd, snake's subconsciousness starts making up stupid stuff like this.

 When the blurriness cleared, Snake saw that out of his gun was a little flag reading ‘Merry Christmas’. The Metal Gear was still there.

“Fine, I give up…. I’m too old for fighting this anymore…” Snake declared as the machine opened fire into him.

Jake: Stage 6: ragequit. Like in wargames, snake attempts to win the game by not playing.

“Snake? SNAKE??? SNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAKKEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


David woke up with a jolt. Out of all his crazy dreams, that one ranked ten in craziness, making all his other dreams a four or lower. 

Jake: Stage 7: ranking. Snake is trying to convince himself that his life had meaning by assigning arbitrary values to past events.

Karkat: WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS STUFF FROM?

Jake: Right here. *hands Karkat a Psycology Journal*

Karkat: ...GAMEBRO IS NOT A PSYCHOLOGY JOURNAL.

Dave: well it ought to be.

 Sunny was standing over him.

“Yay! You finally are awake! Come on, we can open presents!” Sunny said excitingly.

Dave: because that's the true meaning of christmas.

“Yeah, I’m getting there… How about I meet you down there?” David replied groggily.

“Okay!” Sunny ran downstairs and turned on the TV. David got up and changed into everyday clothes. As he went downstairs, he remembered something about his dream. Something from the TV show that Sunny was watching was in his dream. He arrived in the living room and stood behind the couch and watched along. Typically he didn’t watch anything on the TV, but the dream made him curious.

Jake: Stage 8: sitting on a couch and watching cartoons all day in an attempt to recapture lost youth.

“I’m watching the first episode again, when it’s done we can open presents.” Sunny said when she noticed David was there.

Dave: because thats how kids really talk.

“…What’s it about?” David said, intrigued by the show now.

“It’s about these ponies who go on adventures and stuff. In this episode, they learn about the magic of friendship and defeat Nightmare Moon, who turns into Princess Luna after the Elements of Harmony are found.”

Pinkie: SPOILER ALERT! ^0^

David was even more intrigued now. Nightmare Moon sounded like it could’ve been what he saw in his dream. He watched more intently, not even noticing Hal walk into the room.

“Wow, David, didn’t know you were a brony too! I knew we’d convert you eventually.” 

Pinkie: Welcome to The Herd... @_@

 Hal said as he saw David staring into the soul of every pony that came on screen. They all watched until the moment Nightmare Moon appears in the place of Princess Celestia. At that moment David froze stiff. Everything faded out and he fell to the ground. 

Jake: Stage 9: sudden heart attack, as his body attempts to end it all.

Dave: meanwhile

The combine images of the silhouette pony from his dream and Nightmare Moon from the TV were the only things running through his mind.

Karkat: THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF "HOW TO RUIN CHRISTMAS". THANK YOU FOR WATCHING, AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A ROTTEN EVENING.

“David? David? Are you ok? David get up! Sunny call 911! David! DAAAAAVIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Hal screamed as the last thing David heard.

Pinkie: 



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

David got up and he was now in a hospital. His vision was slightly blurry, but he could hear just fine. There was a large commotion coming from outside the room. People panicking, running around, there was what seemed like a state of mass confusion and fear going on throughout the hospital. When David’s vision returned and took in everything around him. Things looked slightly different, as if reality was slightly altered.


Karkat: IF THAT TRAILER REALLY IS FOR METAL GEAR SOLID 5, I REALLY HOPE THIS FIC WASN'T THE INSPIRATION FOR IT.

He got up with less pain than he thought he’d be in, actually no pain whatsoever. Why am I in the hospital? Hal could’ve taken care of me… All I did was faint… Must be from the years of smoking or something…

Jake: Stage 10: internal monologue.

Then in through the doors came several ponies in lab coats.

Karkat: WHY DO PONIES WEAR LAB COATS?

Pinkie: Ooh! Ooh! I know this one! Uh... to keep their pants up? No, wait, that's not it...

Karkat: NEVER MIND.

“I don’t know what it is, or who it is, but let me ask it some questions. It may be a cursed pony or something from somewhere outside of Equestria.” The first doctor-pony said to the other ones, who looked like they were just following him.

“Where am I and why am I in a TV show!?” David exclaimed.

Jake: Stage 11: extreme genre savviness.

“AHH! It talks!” The doctor pony was a little frightened but now more curious than before.

Karkat: ...WERE YOU REALLY THAT SURPRISED?

“As the captain of the royal guard let us in to take it to Celestia!!!!!” A voice outside yelled.

David now spoke again to the doctor, “Wait is that the military of this place trying to get me?”

Dave: must be a tuesday.

The doctor replied, “Erm… Yes, and if I don’t hand you over, we’ll be sentenced for treason.”

David looked at the doctor and his party slowly trying to block the door and get close enough to grab him. Instinctively, he ran to the window and jumped through.

Jake: Stage 11: auto-defenestration. 

Karkat: GIVEN THAT HE WAS IN A THREE STORY BUILDING, THIS TURNED OUT TO BE A BAD IDEA.

He was now in the middle of a town. There was a fancy boutique at the end of the block to his right and a candy store on the other side of the street and the end of the block to his left.

Dave: holy poor urban planning batman.

  I bet I can find better places to hide near that boutique than a candy store. Everyone loves candy so there would be no time to get a good spot to hide. 

Pinkie: That, I always make sure to booby-trap all of my cardboard boxes, just in case a spy tries to hide in them! ^-^

Dave: has that ever actually been a problem??

Pinkie: Nope! That means it's working! ^o^

He started running towards the boutique. He felt younger, more agile. He ran past a window and noticed he didn’t look like an old man anymore on the reflection.Whatever happened, I don’t have that virus thing anymore, I look about twenty years younger! 

Jake: Stage 12: deus ex machina.

Karkat: SO MUCH FOR THAT STORY ARC.

The guards at the hospital were far enough behind him now that he could find time to hide when he needed to but he’d have to be quick as they were fast.

Dave: i love how hes completely glossing over the fact that hes in a land of magic talking ponies.

When he arrived at the boutique, he saw an open window on an upper story. He climbed up the back of the house carefully and snuck into the window. There was nobody in the room. He found a closet and hid in there until everything calmed down.

Jake: Stage 13: ultimate mental breakdown.

What on earth is going on? I watch one episode and I have crazy ridiculous dreams about that TV show? But it’s so…real… This is getting pretty weird for my tastes… 

Karkat: AND GIVEN THAT SNAKE'S FOUGHT HIS EVIL TWIN, A FOURTH-WALL BREAKING PSYCHIC, A SHAPE-SHIFTER, A RUSSIAN WESTERN MOVIE AFICIONADO WHO GOT POSSESSED BY THE ARM OF SNAKE'S EVIL TWIN, A BISEXUAL GUY WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE VAMPIRE, AND A SQUAD OF INSANE CYBORG SUPERMODELS, THAT IS REALLY SAYING SOMETHING.

After waiting in there a while, David eventually falls asleep. 

Jake: Stage 14: sudden narcolepsy. 

Pinkie: He's the best!

When he woke up he was laying on the floor in the middle of the room he hid in, a teenage looking pony standing over him looking at him.

“When I asked Princess Celestia for a stallion to pop up in my room, I didn’t ask for one from some other universe, but this will do.” The teenage filly says to herself out loud. 

Dave: Thats not a completely contrived thing to say.

She was white with a light purple mane. David tried to get up but realized his limbs were tied down.

“What do you ponies want with me? And why was Nightmare Moon in my dream?” David asked the filly.

Jake: Stage 15: stupid questions. 

Karkat: OH YEAH LIKE SOME RANDOM GIRL IS GOING TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON WHEN IT COMES TO MYSTERIOUS VOICES AND DIMENSIONAL TRAVEL.

“Heck if I know, but I know what I want with you!” The filly responded in a manner that David knew exactly what she was talking about. He wasn’t so sure he wanted that kind of stuff done to him by a pony, but he couldn’t move so he’d have to deal with it.

Karkat: OH GOG I NEED BRAIN BLEACH.

Jake: ...Please note that jake english's mysterious theater of scientific romance from the year 3000 does not promote nor condone bestiality in any way, shape, or form.

“Sweetie Belle!!!! I’m heading out now, so come give me a hug before I go!” A voice called from the floor below.

The white filly looked at David, “You stay here now, and be quiet or they’ll find you! I’ll be back.” Sweetie Belle left the room to head downstairs.

“Hey sis, where are you going anyways?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Princess Celestia has called upon me and my friends to do something very important for her regarding the return of Nightmare Moon.” The mare named Rarity replied.

Dave: dont worry its just the end of the world. again.

“Nightmare Moon? That doesn’t make sense, I saw Luna just yesterday talking to Apple Bloom.”

Rarity was confused, “Yesterday? Now that doesn’t make sense as Nightmare Moon returned yesterday… Maybe I read it wrong? Anyways, you stay here and watch over the house.”

Dave: i sense a mystery.

“Can Apple Bloom and Scootaloo come over tonight?”

Rarity rushed in a response, “Yes, now I have to go. Don’t mess up my stuff!”

They hugged and Rarity left. It was about an hour until her friends arrived. Ooh, I have plenty of time to play with my new toy! Sweetie Belle thought as she went back upstairs.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom arrived right on time. Sweetie Belle let them in and brought them to her room, where David was now sitting in the corner of the room, arms and legs tied up.

Scootaloo was the first to notice, “Wow, that’s the thing that was in the news! Celestia’s guards are looking all over for him! He must be a spy or something!”

Pinkie: A spah's sappin mah sentry! *clang* o_o

Karkat: OW.

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes, “Doesn’t matter now, he’s my pet-thing, and nobody else is allowed to have him!”

Karkat: IF THIS IS INNOCENT INNUENDO, I REALLY HOPE IT WAS INTENTIONAL.

“Aww that’s purdy cool Sweetie Belle! Does it do any tricks?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I can talk… And I’m quite good with a gun.” David replied.

Dave: do they even have guns here?

Pinkie: Probably not! ^_^

“OMG OMG OMG! He can talk! Awesome! I gotta tell Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo said excitedly.

“No, you can’t Scootaloo! She’s at the meeting with the Princess! They’ll take him away if anyone finds out.” Sweetie Belle says harshly, defending her toy. “And especially since he says he had a dream about Nightmare Moon!”

Dave: and thus began a new saturday morning cartoon series called cutie crusaders solid.

“Oh yeah, that reminds me, I was a’talkin’ to Princess Luna yesterday and she said she needed to leave Equestria and that if Nightmare Moon appears, that it’s a fake, whatev’r that means.” Apple Bloom explained.

Karkat: APPARENTLY SHE DOESN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HER OWN BLATANT EXPOSITION.

“I knew that what my sister said made no sense! I have to find out what they’re talking about.”

Scootaloo interjected, “Sweetie Belle, that place is so heavily guarded that none of us could get in without being caught.

Jake: Given that equestria's been been invaded by mad gods, evil ghosts that freeze things to death, and a horde of shape-shifting space bugs i can understand why security would be so tight.

Pinkie: And that's just the stuff that happened in canon!

There’s no way we’ll ever know what’s going on.”

Dave: at least until the mane six saves the day and their exploits make front page news. or the world gets destroyed. whatever comes first.

David spoke again, “Hey I can get in there without being seen. I’m trained in stealth missions like this and maybe we could work out a deal?”

“How do we know you won’t just escape from being my pet?” Sweetie Belle said, slightly irritated.

“Because if I get caught, I’ll probably end up dead. In exchange to not have me be tied up all the time, how about I’ll be your espionage guy, then, I can find out what I need to know while I’m getting your information, and you still have me around to keep you company.”

“Well, that sounds like a good deal, but don’t you want to go home?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Karkat: *FACEPALM*

“I’ve done what I need to do at home… And staying here, I don’t have to worry about dying early in life. At my home, I looked like I was a hundred years old. Here, I don’t have the rapid aging anymore.”

“Oh, well then perfect! I agree!” Sweetie Belle was now excited she was able to keep her pet forever now.

Dave: ha ha. suckers.

“Hey, since you are our spy, we gotta have a cool group name!” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom replied, “But we already got a name, the Cutie Mark Crusaders. We don’t need two.”

“Well, I think that’s actually a pretty good name. CMC’s for short.” David inputted.

“That’s a good idea mister… Um… What’s your name?” Sweetie Belle asked, slightly embarrassed about not knowing his name.

“Just call me….. Solid Snake.”

Jake: There's one chapter left, but I think we'll save that for next week. Untill then, how about we help Kankri finish baking?

Karkat: ...DON'T WE HAVE A TIMELINE TO SAVE?

Dave: eh. that can wait till later. 


DETECTIVE

1 comment:

  1. Actually, this fanfic is kinda good, especially compared to the previous fanfics.

    ReplyDelete