TRIGGER WARNING: Today's featured story contains an awfully written rape scene. Do not operate pointy implements while under the influence of this fic unless you enjoy gouging your own eyes out.
Caius Ballad: Monitors. I have come from the end of time to deliver a warning; The Great Disaster soon approaches. I have traveled all of the possible timelines, and have discovered but one fact; unless you commit to an action soon, it will destroy you all.
Monitor #1: You've made your point clear, guardian. All Monitors in favor of doing something, say "aye".
Exactly Half of the Monitors: AYE!
Monitor #1: All in favor of doing nothing, say "nay".
The Other Half of the Monitors: NAY!
Monitor #1: I'm sorry to disappoint you Mister Ballad, but I'm afraid that the council is still in deadlock, twenty-five to twenty-five. Perhaps if you were to come at another time, perhaps when Bob and Solomon get back...
Caius: *Summons a black portal underneath Monitor #43, which starts to suck him in.*
Monitor #43: OH GOD THE PAIN! INSECTS, MILLIONS OF THEM, CRAWLING OVER MY SKIN! THEY'RE EATING ME ALIIIIIVE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *DEAD*
Caius: Count again. It appears you now have a majority vote.
Monitor #1: ...I suppose that's one way to pass legislature. Very well then. Now that we've decided to do something, what is it exactly that we will do?
Monitor #41: I say we build a really, really big gun!
Monitor #32: No, I say we build a Superman robot out of pure thought!
Monitor #44: Why the hell would we do that?
Monitor #32: Why wouldn't we do that? You never know when you'll need one to fight a... I dunno, a multiverse vampire or something?
Monitor #22: No! I've got a better idea! We can build an intergalactic portal network that we just leave around for some reason!
Montior #18: What if the gun and the superman robot were both portal networks?
Monitor #45: Yeah! That makes perfect sense!
Monitor #22: We should do my thing!
Monitor #3: Should we do his thing?
Monitor #44: We should do my thing!
Monitor #17: Should we do his thing?
Monitor #32: We should do my thing!
Caius: *facepalm*
